La Sonya

Cheese.

2012-02-14T07:52:00.000-08:00

My new favorite days are Sundays.

Jackie and I are working on a little thing called friendship :)

Sundays keep me focused on the goals and it reminds me that work isn't all bad.

My Kanu

2012-02-08T08:34:00.000-08:00

This is what is eating my bananas off my counter in my kitchen at night.

(This isn't my photograph. I haven't been able to get one yet.)

He's cute.

Wiki says I could have him for a pet.

Maybe I'll get baby kanu, ganet for valentines day :)

Laughter.

2012-02-07T11:11:00.000-08:00

Remember the last time you laughed so hard you side hurt or tears poured from your eyes?

When was the last time I laughed on stage because a Russian tourist accused me of kissing the 80's cohost?

Play time!

2012-02-05T05:10:00.000-08:00

(Jackie, Me, and Irene at Cradle of Love a week ago)

I ran to Cradle of Love this morning, no really, I ran there.

I decided to hang out with the kids there today so I could get to know a few of my special friends better. I played with Jackie and Irene so we can become good buddies. I'm glad I went today, it was beautiful weather for us to play outside and go for a walk with all the older kids. We picked up some parachichi (avocados) and passion fruit and sticks. They are girls after my own heart :) They love to touch everything. Jackie is almost 3 and we talked a bit in a mixture of Kiswahili and English, she told me her favorite color is orange and she likes ugali for food. Irene is around 1 1/2, she and I didn't talk as much but that didn't stop our fun with sticks and cookies at snack time.

Visiting with my little friends really helped me focus on some things I need to get together soon if I am to be ready in time! I realized I need a baby shower! To bad I can't just go register at some cute kids clothing stores. I'm going to need to buy some toys, chupies (undergarments), regular clothes, bath stuff, children's food utensils, Pj's, bedding, and, and, and. . . I'm sure I've forgotten something!

I'm almost ready for this. Just look at their cute little sister faces, who wouldn't be excited for this?

Time.

2012-02-02T08:02:00.000-08:00

top: 2011 friends from high school,

bottom: 2001 same friends in high school.

There is so much I want to share

Things I think about as I go through my day,

Funny, deep, whimsical and at times hot air

All are meant to share, if only I had my way

Can you come so I can share them with you?

Time is passing, the memories grow longer

The past will be like a flip-book to just glance through

Nevertheless the want and need grows stronger

Come today, or come tomorrow

I'm longing to share the days, minutes and to fully live

Take note; time is not ours to borrow

It is ours to share and ours to give

I'll wait awhile longer.

I'll wait till we can catch up on stories

I'll wait till my heart is stronger . . .

Oh, for Pete's sake, just get here already.

The official address

2012-02-01T09:38:00.000-08:00

One of the things we got accomplished last week was opening our very own Small Steps for Compassion PO Box!

This was a great accomplishment that makes me feel things are moving along nicely :o)

So folks, here it is. The official address:

Small Steps For Compassion

PO Box 509

Usa River, Tanzania

The first person to have a letter arrive in our PO Box gets a prize from Tanzania!

Mail away!!!

My very own Atelerix Albiventris

2012-01-30T23:53:00.000-08:00

Guess what lives in my yard!?

If you said a four-toed hedgehog or Atelerix Albiventris than you are correct! Gabriel brought this little guy to me Saturday night and I was in love :) Look how cute! I did all sorts of research online about these little guys and have learned a lot about the exotic pet world of hedgehogs.

I was planning on keeping him in a cage in the house, but decided until I can actually get a proper functioning cage I'll let him live in the garden where he can eat bugs to his hearts content. But I've got plans for him don't you worry!

I learned all sorts of interesting facts. (thank you wikipedia)

For example, did you know that hedgehogs have a tendency to be obese? They normally cover lots of ground in the night looking for bugs so keeping them in a tiny box is cruel and can make them fat.

They are also illegal in several states (CA, Hawaii included) and you must have a license to own it in other states.

The best fact that I learned is that they show hedgehogs! Can you imagine? I've decided that after I get my cage built I'll start training him and then I'll be able to show him in the states and win lots of money, breed him and get a million blue ribbons for my nameless hedgehog.

Which leads me to my last problem. He doesn't have a name. I've gotten some suggestions but I would love your opinion on them.

Sonic the Wild Hedgehog

Carseat 2 Electric Bugaloo the Hedgehog

Rufio

Pickles

Chimney

Needles

So add one of your own or vote on one already out.

Karibu February

2012-01-30T23:39:00.000-08:00

The month of January has flown by.

A quick run down of the last 4 weeks:

I welcomed in the new year alone and recovering from Malaria. Got 'better' than started training again for my 1/2 marathon. After 3 days of running I got sick, again. By the time I actually got better the Board of Directors for Make It Count and Small Steps for Compassion were here along with Ron, who has teamed up with us and who works with Orphans Heart!

Needless to say, last week was very busy. There were meetings, town trips to buy everything for a new kitchen, cushions for the living room, the house cleaned and by cleaned I mean SCRUBBED! (The floor apparently wasn't supposed to be dark brown, like I had thought it was but actually a light brown color.) As soon as I finish putting everything away in its new home I'll take pictures for you.

I've got lots of things to catch up on now that the group has left. Everything from blogging (this is for you Tanya :) to finishing up purchases in town to making sure our water is running by the 17th of Feb!

I hope the next few months are just as fast as this last one. Because in April I'm dashing back to the states for a wedding and visit to the Sierras to see my Camp Wawona family.

Here we go again.

2012-01-11T05:15:00.000-08:00

So, just when I thought the coast was clear I'm down for the count again. I guess the medicine they gave me just around 2 weeks ago wasn't strong enough and here I am again with malaria.

This is awful. I am a tiny bit miserable, actually I feel quite miserable. Feel free to send me get well cards. It's like getting the flu twice in less than 2 weeks. I'm hot, my body hurts, my head hurts, I have a headache and I feel like I got run over by a daladala.

At least I know that one week from today the board of directors will be here and it will be like Christmas. It's the light at the end of my very long tunnel.

New Years Resolution; 2012

2012-01-09T10:23:00.001-08:00

My New Years resolutions are as follows:

To bake cookies at least once a month.

To run a half marathon again.

To get all the kids in the surrounding neighborhoods to call me by my name instead of mzungu.

To buy flowers for my house once a month.

I was inspired by the success of last years resolutions. What a great year. Good job 2011.

Mission Accomplished

2012-01-06T11:02:00.000-08:00

"The parakeet has flown the coop, repeat, the parakeet has flown the coop."
I have busted the packages out of Post Office Jail. And yes it’s plural. They all three came, the modest package, the Christmas package and the dream list package. I have learned a lot about the mail system and will be putting together a protocol for mailing packages here that will keep things simple and affordable for all parties involved.

After waiting at the ‘jail’ to bust them out for about 30 min I had to carry them back to the daladala (local bus) and then get back to Usa River (about 1 hour in route) then I had to wait for the next daladala to fill up so I could take it to the stop closest to my house (15 min walk). But I looked as happy as a kid at Christmas time, because in fact that’s what I am. I didn’t even mind that I had to carry the 8kg (about 17 lbs) packages really far. Because the whole time I was filled with anticipation and a big goofy grin.

Now I’m off to open them and delight in each tiny thing.

*Don't worry about me and my anticipation, I still am waiting for that package with the little heart cutouts. I'll let you know when it gets here.

Anticipation

2012-01-05T08:30:00.004-08:00

I have realized over the last few years that I might actually like the waiting better than the opening of a gift, package, letter, or party. Is it because I have such an extravagant imagination? Perhaps it is because I know that things won't be what my imagination dreams up and I would rather dream away than face reality?

Either way a friend called me today to let me know she saw my name on a list of packages at the Arusha Post Office! I had planned on heading out after lunch to pick it up but after talking with Juma (it's his PO Box) I learned that I could only pay the tax 0n the box in the morning AND I would have to have his ID to get it out. So I am resigned to wait. To dream. To imagine.

It could be a box from my dearest garden friend containing Christmas joy and music and a million other exciting things. Which it has a good chance to be because she sent it around Thanksgiving.

It could be a box from my good friend in Collegedale containing many things I had on my dream list. Plus who knows what other kind of goodies. It might even contain a Gaither Home Coming DVD or powdered white southern gravy mix. Who knows!

It might be a modest package from my greatest roommate, whose package she sent me while in Tchad was lost forever, but this one we have higher hopes for the deliverance.

It might even be a mysterious package from a friend who I didn't know even thought about me.

I received a package unexpectedly from my friend in Germany yesterday. So far she has sent me TWO and I've been delightfully surprised each time, not expecting anything from Germany.

Tonight I will go to sleep like a child at Christmas time because I know that while I sleep my little package will be waiting for me to pay his bail to get him out of Post Office Jail. I'll head in early tomorrow to end my anticipation.

Until then, perhaps it's a package from a mysterious secret admirer containing tiny heart cut confetti, scented candles, Settlers of Catan, tiny stickers, homemade cookies, pictures, shrinki-dink materials, paint, bubbles, dollar store finds and beautiful Bible promises.

Ahh, I love anticipation.

Today's prayer.

2012-01-04T22:10:00.000-08:00

Mount Kilimanjaro from a town outside of Moshi, Tanzania. Photo by Sonya

“This is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ. “

*Philippians 1:9,10

To my dearest and best Kaka

2012-01-03T09:55:00.001-08:00

To my best and dearst kaka.

You have always made me laugh when I was angry.

You always made me play the bad guy when we were kids.

You made me be the 'bad student' when we played school, having to arrive late.

You were kind enough to plan me a surprise party the day after my real party.

You could get me to play games in the evening with the family.

You could never tell if I was crying or laughing.

You helped come up with the name of our childhood cat, Carseat.

You are an amazing actor, friend, son and most of all you are my ~~caca~~ I mean kaka.

Boy, ya gotta love the Swahili language. It says it all.

So Christopher Reaves, you will always be my kaka.

I love you!

Welcome back old friend

2011-12-29T08:36:00.003-08:00

It’s been awhile since my body hurt so bad. Achy all over, metal taste in my mouth, pounding head ach, light sensitivity, stomach acid burps, and no energy.

I knew it would only be a matter of time until my old friend, Malaria, came for a visit. I had suspected I might have had it a few times over the last few weeks but never went to get tested. Until this morning, last night I went to be with a fever and terrible body aches and woke up the same. I knew it was time to go in.

So old friend, it’s you and me again, at battle. Just know I will win, I will survive and have energy again. Boo-yah.

A Christmas Gift

2011-12-25T17:38:00.000-08:00

A gift for you, from God.

I realized this month what a beautiful gift we have been given. I’m not talking about the obvious one, salvation. I’m talking about a gift we all often forget about.

The gift of YOU, of ME.

“God knows your full potential, and He is guiding you towards that best version of yourself all the time.”

“Your uniqueness is God-designed”

“God wants you to be a ‘new creation’. But ‘new’ doesn’t mean completely different; instead, it is like an old piece of furniture that gets restored to its intended beauty.”

“God never grows two people the same way. God is a hand-crafter, not a mass-producer” *

Did you read those things?! God gave you the gift of you being you. He hand-made you, gave you your uniqueness.

“We are God’s masterpiece, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10

This Christmas remember what He gave you. Revel in the beauty of who you are, in the different things that make you, you. Look at your family and see their characters new, as people who were hand-crafted by the God of the universe. Thank Him for the gift of the people in your life. He did all of this for you.

He did ALL of this for YOU.

This sketch never gets old. You are His masterpiece.

*From John Ortberg's book The Me I Want To Be.

Christmas Eve Prayer

2011-12-24T12:01:00.000-08:00

I will sleep here in my Tanzanian bed on Christmas Eve with a prayer on my heart.

I pray that things will continue to move forward, that our home will soon be able to fill a place in a child’s life, that our paperwork will be completed, donors hearts opened and then finally our beds will be full. That baby Jeremiah will be held in my arms and countless others will fill my heart. This Christmas I ask for the gift of a Tanzanian family. Please, Lord Jesus.

Amen.

SNOW

2011-12-18T06:11:00.000-08:00

It snowed yesterday.

Perhaps I should clarify. It snowed here yesterday.

Perhaps I should clarify again. It snowed here in Tanzania, yesterday.

We had a crazy rain storm. I was still at church. The rain came from everywhere, it was sooo loud. It got nice and cool. Then when the rain stopped, we headed to Mr Owawa's house for lunch. That's when I saw the snow.

No, not that snow, that's in my house.

Snow on top of Mount Meru. It was magical, beautiful and a gift from God.

That's snow if you look close.

Mosquito's Log

2011-12-14T10:34:00.000-08:00

Mosquito’s log

Bite date 12.14.2011

The troops in America have failed. They were not able to successfully complete an itch mission on battlefield Sonya. There have been countless attacks on her arms and legs in more than one state, with no itch to mark. The southern mosquitoes in Alabama, Texas and Florida were unable to render her angry and itchy.
When the Honduras division was put on the mission they too failed miserably. They were able to render her comrades from Germany into scabby, itchy messes. They were even able to distract and bother her fellow countrymen/women but nothing on battlefield Sonya.

When the mosquitoes in the mountains of California were alerted of the operative being on the move they assured all that they would be able to make her a bite worth keeping. While other battlefields have been taken out in less than 2 min flat, even when the big and small battlefields have been decked out in outdoor ammo filled with the deadly deet, she has survived.
The Tchadian company of mosquitoes were unable to cause a stir in the night air with an itch. However they were able to transfer many a valuable attack on her immune system with the deadly malaria virus. There were many a brave mosquito who earned his badge in those battles, inflicting pain seven out of the ten months of battle.

Today however I am proud to say that we Tanzanian mosquitoes have won the recent battles on battlefield Sonya. We have caused pain, annoyance, itch, swelling, sleepless nights and successful ear buzzing. The triumph has been noted, the honors handed out and the battle will continue to be taken for our victory. The only defense she might have is if a giant snowstorm came or one thousand bats swooped in. Ha. We will always win in this battle, we are the strongest mosquitoes, no body has anything on us!

Until tonight, log book.

Keep biting, dodging hands, and stay away from the bug spray.

Tangawizi

2011-12-12T02:07:00.000-08:00

Without further delay I introduce to you: Tangawizi

His full name is Stoney Tangawizi. He was named in honor of my favorite soda here in Tanzania, ginger beer. (he’s also the colour of Tangawizi) So yummy. You have to be careful when you drink it because if you inhale, as you are about to sip you burn your throat. But it fizzes nicely on its way down. Anyway, enough about the drink let me tell you about the dog.

Tangawizi is a funny little dog. He likes to talk a lot, or perhaps I should say grumble. He’ll be laying in his bed and make all sorts of noise when he rolls over, moaning and groaning as if he were an old man and had to walk miles to church in the cold. He’s a very playful puppy, as all puppies tend to be. He enjoys chasing the rainbows on the floor and wall that my prism makes in my window. He likes to talk/grumble when I’m holding him on my lap as if he were telling me he would much rather be chewing on my hand or face. He understands when I tell him no and he usually talks back then too. He gets really excited about food and is like a crazed teenaged girl at a Justin Beber concert jumping up and down, wiggling his whole body until the plate is set down. He’s learning how to sit, and he’s working getting it, however slow it may be.

He understands when I tell him to go home or to stop biting. Not to bad for a puppy of about 2 months.

I’m praying that he is a good addition to the house and will help teach patience to the kids as well as be a companion and guard dog. He’s getting big and will soon loose his awkward sideways walking and his tumbling down the steps.

Any dog tips are welcome as are any volunteers willing to send me a dog collar with a tag on it.

Karibu Tena

2011-12-12T01:49:00.000-08:00

Ahh, the house is quite once again. These last week and a half has been full of visiting, eating, sharing stories, cultural learning, laughter, sharing of everything and pre Christmas joy.

On December 1, our household grew to 6. Mary’s two children (Waren 3, Caren 5), her sister (Beatrice 19) and her cousin (Penda 20) came for a visit. It changed the dynamics of everything! Having two little kids around the house was a gentle foreshadowing of what is to come. Having the two other girls was a lot of fun for me to work on my cooking skills (they are good teachers) and language skills, not to mention just trying to talk to or work with the two little ones.

It was a good visit in that it helped me realize all that I need to be working on for when our children come home next year. For example what kind of house rules need to be set up, when bed time is, what to eat to be healthy, how to keep the culture yet maintain health and proper discipline. Like I said, it was good for me to start thinking about these things. Now more than ever I’m getting excited to bring home our kids! These next few weeks I’m going to be busy with planning, checking up on paperwork with our lawyers/government and visiting potential children. Not to mention Christmas prep J

So with our household of 6 we grew again this last Wednesday, December 7. Two guys from Southern Adventist University’s SM program were on a bit of a holiday driving from Lake Victoria, the site of their future orphanage with REACH International to the coast with two local friends. We had mutual friends and were put in contact with me to visit. I love having people over and told them the more the merrier. I hope they were merry. We unfortunately didn’t have much more bedding space left with Mary’s family here but we did our best. In our two-room house we had 10 people! Wowzers, is this a peak at the future or what! Mary’s room held her and the two kids, mine had Penda, Beatrice and me on my bed (that fits two comfortably) and the 4 guys bunkered down in the living room on Mary’s big mattress. I felt bad because I couldn’t give them a mosquito net and I’m afraid it might have been a bit rough for them at night!

It was great to visit with them and learn about the work they were doing. I’m hoping to visit them the first of next year to see how they made their sun oven and see if I can learn anything else from them. Plus, it’s nice to visit people from your home country especially when they live on Lake Victoria.

Over the 4 days they were here our water ran low in the well and the guys learned how to carry water long distances. The food was a mix of American and Tanzanian, the language was a cross of Kiswahili and English and our ears were always full of music.

Next up is Christmas with people visiting local SM’s who I can’t wait to have over too!

Karibu Tena

The Keeper.

2011-12-06T23:09:00.000-08:00

I am now the keeper of the seal.

I wield the stamp of authority.

I’ve got the power.

Merry Two Months

2011-12-04T22:40:00.000-08:00

I find myself listening to my Christmas music play list all the time. I’m trying to remind myself that it’s actually Christmas time, that Thanksgiving has come and gone and that I have been here for two full months.

Things are changing these days. We’ve got Mary’s two kids along with two of her teenage sisters here for some time. School is out for a while so it’s a family vacation. The house isn’t as quite anymore, in fact it’s not at all quite J I’m not so worried; I knew the noise would be here soon enough. And with me having my official residence visa all sorts of great things should be happening soon.

I’m blessed to have people (Sm’s from Southern, friends of friends) passing through the area and I get to visit with them. This will help keep the Christmas spirit alive. I was going to try and go somewhere for the holidays but in wanting to save money for my good buddies wedding in April (Liz Randall, from my Tchad adventures) I decided to make the most of it from here. Next year this time. . . wow.

Small Steps for Compassion has put together our official Holiday List of ways you can help support us here at our Nyumbani, home. Here’s the link for the online catalog, please feel free to buy cool things. We’ll show you pictures of what you bought as we get them. I’m excited to finish outfitting our house for lots of little people! I’ve got a few leads on children that need homes, so I’ll keep you updated on those as they come too!

I think I’ll go work on my Christmas tan while I go do my laundry. I hope we get our well started and finished soon, the well is runny really low and it’s quite muddy.

The Traditional Thanksgiving List

2011-11-29T08:32:00.001-08:00

My list of 100 things I am thankful for.

It's tradition. You should make one too, it's good for the spirit.

1. Running, who'da thought I'd enjoy it so much

2. The rain

3. My friend Kimberly

4. Garden friends

5. Old university roommates

6. Good books

7. My brother, Christopher Reaves

8. My mom and her bravery

9. My dad and all his animals

10. Deli and her gift at helping me do my taxes

11. The Sierras

12. My Wawona family (even if I don't live with them anymore)

13. My Tchadian family, not a day goes by that I don't think about them

14. The ability to communicate with people in English, Spanish, French and a little bit of Kiswahili

15. Fires in the fireplace (even here in Tanzania)

16. Familiar fruit

17. Skype (sonyareaves is my skype name!)

18. Language dictionaries

19. My dog Tangawizi (yup, I got a dog and he's a beaut!)

20. Travel

21. The things I had to learn last summer

22. My summer camp families (Kulaqua, Alamisco, FLAG Camp, and Wawona)

23. Deep conversations

24. Friends who can be honest with me

25. New friends in foreign countries

26. Student Missionaries

27. Zucchini bread

28. and it's recipe giver, Melissa/my birthday twin

29. Not knowing the future, despite what I may say I'm glad I don't know. It keeps me on my toes

30. My past, it's rough at times but it's also beautiful

31. Southern Adventist University, my alma mater

32. God, who is filling all the voids in my life

33. People who are my family even if they aren't related by blood

34. Wild animals

35. Fresh fruit (not grocery store fresh, garden or farm fresh)

36. Beans and how they are in very country

37. Adventures

38. Starting something bigger than myself

39. Prayers from people I don't know

40. My coworkers in this endeavor who are working hard back in the States

41. Candles

42. Toilets with running water

43. Electricity

44. Good books for when the electricity goes out

45. Cookies

46. Cookie dough

47. The mountains I can see from my neighborhood

48. Nail polish

49. Stories from my friends

50. Clean water to drink

51. Mosquito nets and how they make me feel lovely and old fashioned

52. Really soft blankets

53. My old Bible and how I know where everything is and can find it when I need it

54. Nice smelling shampoo and conditioner

55. Visitors

56. Brand new crayons

57. PACKAGES!!!

58. MAIL!!!!!

59. Surprise conversations with friends on Skype

60. Star Lakes

61. Camping out

62. Sweet flowers that smell really good all night long

63. Steps to Christ

64. Stars

65. Orion and Pleidies, which I can see both here at my house, AMEN!

66. Photographs

67. Childhood memories

68. Baseball

69. Anti Itch Cream--Mosquitoes in Tanzania are vicious!

70. Nice smelling lotion

71. Sweaters

72. Fall clothing

73. Marzipan (If you don't know what it is your life is missing something, go to world market and look for some)

74. Photographs of my parents when they were young and in love.

75. Post-it-notes

75. Bible promises

78. Wireless internet and modems

79. Romantic sunrises

80. Sweet sunsets

81. Snow

82. Trees, especially really big ones

83. Christmas music

84. Laughing

85. Home made pop-tarts

86. My Grandpa and his deep faith in God

87. Flowers of all sorts of colors

88. Journals and re reading them and laughing at the silly things I thought were such a big deal at the time and seeing how God has lead in the past

89. Popcorn

90. Ugali porridge, it's kinda like cream of wheat

91. The classic oldness of Camp Wawona

92. Little kids yelling my name as I pass their house

93. Ice Cream (and yes I'm a vegan and yes I like to eat ice cream . . . )

94. Having a personal taylor to make my inventions

95. My friends, all of you

96. Knowing that some people read my blog, like Mom Weis :)

97. My growing kids from Honduras

98. Playing dress up with Andrea

99. Falling asleep

100. Waking up

Thank you Thanksgiving.

2011-11-22T23:14:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving has always been just a regular holiday until I found myself for the first time away from home, America and everything familiar. It was when I was living in Honduras that I found such a deep beauty in the holiday. I realized what the beauty of the holiday was and that the people I was surrounded with could love me like family. Thanksgiving soon became one of the most important holidays of the year (right next to the 4th of July).

Thanksgiving is more than a few days off from work or school, more than cooking lots of food and more than dumb American football. It's a day where we all pause, and evaluate life, we look at what God has given us, what He has blessed us with. This morning I read in Ephesians a perfect text for tomorrow:

"Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think . . . be glory"
Ephesians 3:20,21

Tomorrow I am going to visit with my new friends, some who aren't even from America but Germany and Canada. I am going to sit with them and eat, but most importantly I am going to look back on the year and see all that God has done for me, things that were exceedingly abundantly above anything I could have asked for all year.

I hope you do the same.

May God give you the eyes to see, the ears to hear and the love to see all that He has done for you this year.

The moo cow moo.

2011-11-19T07:14:00.000-08:00

My grandma used to sing a song about getting milk from a cow. I loved hearing her sing it, "again Grandma!" I would say, then I'd try and join in.

The moo cow moo brings milk to me
I don't drink coffee and I don't drink tea
For milk is better for a girl like me

This last week I milked a cow.

I.Milked.A.Cow.

Cool.

A mixture of thoughts

2011-11-15T09:56:00.000-08:00

I love the smell of rain. I love how it makes things cold. I love how it fills the well with water. I love how it makes things green.

I keep forgetting it’s fall where you are. I’m enjoying the spring and warm sunshine while you are getting snow. I love snow (I also love most things, it’s in my DNA to love things). I hope you are taking time to walk among the falling leaves, bundle up, wear a scarf, drink hot chocolate, sit by a fire, because fall is the time of year to slow down and be with people. I love fall.

I love to bake. You can ask any friend who has lived near me in the last few years and they will verify those facts. Although flour is a bit expensive here I still buy it ($1 for 2lbs). I’ve already made some sugar cookies and cinnamon buns, which my buns are getting better and better each time. The tricky part with baking here is to I light the top of the oven or the bottom. We use kerosene and you can’t light both, so I’ve chosen the bottom. Any tips on that would be welcome.

I do not love to go to Arusha. I went awhile back to get prices for our Holiday sponsor information and while I was there I interacted with so many people. Arusha truly is a city of many people, I talked with Christians, Muslims and Hindi. Quite the wide variety.

Nuts, there went the power. I’m pre-writing this on word so when I go to where there is internet I can copy and paste; however now I am not so sure I will go anywhere. It might be a nice quite evening at home with a good book and chi. Aww, it’s not to bad. I had wanted to call some of you to talk and to search a few things online but that can always wait.

The Voice of a Child

2011-11-15T08:33:00.000-08:00

[ Masi child going into his hut, Tanzania

by Sonya Reaves, 13/11/11.]

Teach me how to love

I am a child in need of strength and hope.

Love me for who I am, only don’t leave me that way.

I am rude and loud and think of myself

I stand up front and say what I want

It’s almost to late to fix what you started.

Love me and correct me with strength

Teach me when and where to talk

How to know my place.

Show me what it is like to put others first

Love me with the love from your deep heart.

Allow me to fall, but not stay down

Do what you must to teach me how to love

Love me with confidence.

Gabriel

2011-11-15T08:14:00.000-08:00

Gabriel, much like his Biblical namesake, is a guardian, a messenger and a friend. I first met him the night I arrived but I remember him best my first Friday night. I had only been at home for two days and was still very new to life here. Mary was at work and I was left to open the Sabbath alone. I remember opening the door to the porch off of my room and hearing beautiful acapella singing and sitting down on the porch to enjoy it. Then Gabriel came to guard the house, he turned on the porch light and sat down next to me. We discussed the beautiful music, where it was coming from and the local fruit trees. Thus began our friendship.

Gabriel was the first person to sit down with me and teach me Kiswahili, mainly because he doesn’t speak much English, but we get along well with the words I’ve learned in Kiswahili. We patched together sentences in Kiswahili and English, using my dictionary and charades. It is Gabriel’s son, Onesmo who has also joined in the force to help me learn Kiswahili, patiently repeating himself until the connection is made.

Mama Onesmo, Gabriel’s wife is just as kind. She came over within the first week I was here and brought me some eggs as a sign of hospitality. One day as I was walking back from the University, which is further up the mountain, I heard a faint “Sonya, Soooneya”. It was little Onesmo with his mom. He had seen me and called out so we could walk home together, sharing with me his little cookie/buscuits. It was on the way back that they showed me the “short cut” through their yard. Now whenever I am going further up towards the University, church or Havilah (the neighbor orphanage) I just pass through their courtyard and shout out a, “Hodi” smile really big and add, “short cut”. To which every time Mama Onesmo responds with a kind, “Karabu” and Onesmo comes out to give me a high-five and a sweet, “Jambo”.

Gabriel protects our house, relays messages from people who are working with us on the well, and he has chats with me in Kiswahili/English. I’m very glad he is part of our staff, I feel safe with him near and know that he is a valuable addition to our team.

When you come to visit and drive in after the sun has set, be sure to shout out a, “Jambo Gabriel!”, if you do, you will for sure get a warm, “Karabu!”

Poof and it's poofy.

2011-11-12T10:01:00.000-08:00

We didn't have electricity most of the second half of this week, I liked it except for the not being able to contact people I was going to call. However I embraced the quite darkness.

Woke up this morning with this:

Not sure what it was. I took some Benadryl and ended up sleeping all day from it. It's better now, tonight.

I'm going to Sanya Juu tomorrow. I don't care if we actually see animals, I'm just excited to go to Sanya Juu. What a cool name.

28 beautiful stories

2011-11-07T07:52:00.000-08:00

Have you ever wanted to visit, thought of visiting, want to volunteer, know someone who has visited, lived, volunteered on the continent of Africa? Have you ever watched a movie about Africa, seen animals from the Serengeti, or animals that were from Africa? Do you know what simba, rafiki, asante sana or karabu means in English? If you answered yes to any of these questions you need to read 28 Stories of AIDS in Africa.

There are 28 stories from different people and their connection to AIDS, whether they are HIV positive, all their children have died and they are taking care of their 14 grandchildren, they do research for AIDS, they are advocates or they are living with AIDS. I learned so much about this disease that is raping the continent of her people. I learned so much about the different mindsets people in the first and third world have about the disease and ways that people are working to open the eyes of the world to how they can help. The stories are easy to read and captivating beyond anything I thought was possible. Stephanie Nolen does a wonderful job at explaining the disease and how it has managed to kill generations, leaving children homeless and parentless.

The stories clued me into the cultures present in Africa and helped me understand better how to live and function among Africans. They not only touched my heart but they grabbed me and took a hold of they way I see people around me.

I can’t recommend this book enough. If you don’t think you have time to read the whole thing then take it in sections. I wish I could recommend just a few of the stories but they are all so good and eye opening that in order to fully understand the situations you must read them all. Read them slowly and understand the pain of these people, the burden that they are carrying, the dreams they have and the lives they live. Let God speak to you through them and let them change you.

When you are done, let’s talk about them. I’ll be waiting.

Month number 1

2011-11-07T07:42:00.000-08:00

I figure I need to write about living here for one month now. To be honest I can’t believe it has only been one-month/4 weeks/720 hours, it seems like I have been here forever. Maybe it is because this life isn’t so new, and the people in it feel like people I was missing in my life up until now. I’ve laughed with Mary so many times in the weeks I have been here. She is patiently teaching me how to cook like a Tanzanian mama and we are sharing thoughts, not the loose ones that are floating around, although I do share those too, but we are sharing deeper ones. We are two women living in a house sharing the responsibilities of simple living yet we are growing and sharing. It is amazing. I honestly never thought I would connect this well with someone who is not from my country.

This location; I feel as if I have always known these dirt paths, I’ve always known that turning left at the “Doors” would take me to Ngordoto Lodge or Maxi’s shop would sell me toilet paper for 5oo Tsh. I have a healthy fear of things but I’m not afraid to meet new people, I am making friends of all ages and genders (although it seems a few of the men would like to get married and that makes me weary). I have friends that work in beauty parlors, making topography maps, and work in gardens.

I know we will be getting children soon. I’ve had longer than most pregnant women to prepare myself for children but I still think it will be quite the awakening when I have little feet around the house. I’ve been swimming in the silence of the house for a long time, I just hope I don’t get to use to it. I must remember this is just the calm before the storm. The kids, I have been here long enough to wonder what the little face will look like or what their life will have dealt them. What their personality will be like and what kind of joys they will bring.

I’ve meet expatriates from all over the world, Germany, Canada, America, Congo, and England. I’ve connected with Student Missionaries from different organizations and I am excited to develop those relationships and offer what I can to them.

One month and so much has happened. Who am I that God would give me such a life? He is more wonderful than I could ever express, He is filling in the gaps in my life. He is teaching me, guiding me and loving me when I need it most. I can see the works of His hands here and I am frightened and excited to see what mighty and powerful things will happen at the home.

Skills

2011-11-01T10:59:00.000-07:00

Kellie (volunteer from nearby orphanage) did my makeup the other night. It was great, including a lovely unibrow. I don't think I'm ever going to be the same again.

Ps. I gave her one too.

Outfitters

2011-11-01T09:47:00.002-07:00

I went to Arusha last Friday.

I discovered something that I had no idea I would find, ever in my lifetime. I found the Tanzanian REI, the Rock Creek of Arusha, the haven of all things outfitters. I found the market that sells American outdoor apparel. It was all there; North Face, Black Diamond, Keen, Choco, Teva, Marmot, Alpinist, H/H and many other brands. Can you believe it? And the price, oh, let me tell you about the price, I asked about a pair of Choco’s almost just like mine only they were a single strap and they cost around 80,000 Tsh, a mear 43 Usd, and even that could possibly be talked down. The backpacks that I saw were only 50,000 Tsh, 27 Usd, and like I said they might even be talked down.

The isles were lined with all kinds of brand name hiking shoes and sandals, warm fleeces, backpacks, warm hats and wonderful dreams of adventure. The backpacks were hanging on their hooks waiting for a voyage of discovery on the Mountain of Meru or the peak of Kilimanjaro. The dreams of adventure are born in places like that, and it’s my very own Tanzanian REI, Rock Creek of Arusha and haven of all things outfitters.

Come for a visit and we can get you outfitted for the wilds of my backyard.

Which by the way, this is a picture of what I saw in my ‘backyard’ yesterday. I only walked about 30 min to see it too.

Saturday.

2011-11-01T09:47:00.001-07:00

In moving here and taking the job of starting, from scratch, this home for children I have found the need to understand more deeply why I believe what I believe and why I follow the rules I follow. Are they rules simply because or are they based on the Bible?

The first of many things I am evaluating is the Sabbath. What do I believe and why? Do I rest on the seventh day because I am a Seventh Day Adventist? Because it’s what I have always done or do I do it because it is what God has asked of me?

This last Sabbath I took some time to search out the one true place for answers, the Bible, the word of God. In my reading I found several answers to what I should do on the seventh day of the week. I decided to read from Exodus, the book that explains God’s commands for us, the Ten Commandments.

“Remember to observe the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days a week are set apart for your daily duties and regular work, but the seventh day is a day of rest dedicated to the Lord your God. On that day no one in your household may do any kind of work. This includes you, your sons and daughters, your male and female servants, your livestock, and any foreigners living among you. For in six days the Lord made the heavens, the earth, the sea, and everything in them; then he rested on the seventh day. That is why the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and set it apart as holy” Exodus 20:8-11

So that’s the basic rule, but I kept reading to see what else was said if anything, and this is what I found:

“Work for six days, and rest on the seventh. This will give your ox and your donkey a chance to rest. It will also allow the people of your household, including your slaves and visitors to be refreshed.” Exodus 23:12

Nice, the reason is not just because God rested but He knew I would need a rest from all the normal daily work, and let me tell you here there is lots.

There were still more. This must be something important to God if he is still talking about it several chapters later.

“The Lord then gave these further instructions to Moses: ‘Tell the people of Israel to keep my Sabbath day, for the Sabbath day is a sign of the covenant between me and you forever. It helps you to remember that I am the Lord, who makes you holy.’”

How wonderful, a weekly reminder to me that I am a chosen daughter of God!

“’Yes, keep the Sabbath day, for it is holy. Anyone who desecrates it must die; anyone who works on that day will be cut off from the community. Work six days only, but the seventh day must be a day of total rest. I repeat: Because the Lord considers it a holy day, anyone who works on the Sabbath must be put to death. The people of Israel must keep the Sabbath day forever. It is a permanent sign of my covenant with them. For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, but he rested on the seventh day and was refreshed.’” Exodus 31:12-17

Wowzers, God wanted to make sure Saturday was kept apart from the rest of the days, therefore he repeated it and used methods to make sure the Israelites also understood the importance of it.

Yet, He’s not done. There are still two more passages to read.

“Six days are set aside for work, but on the Sabbath day you must rest, even during the seasons of plowing and harvest.” Exodus 34:21

“Each week, work for six days only. The seventh day is a day of total rest, a holy day that belongs to the Lord. Anyone who works on that day will die.” Exodus 35:2

So I take from these that I need to say something to those who work for me. I had been afraid to talk with Gabriel about him coming and working on the yard on Sabbath, but now I know I must. I also need to talk with Mary about doing the dishes, cleaning the house and other things. It’s not for me it is for my God. He asks me to make sure my entire household is honoring the day, the time set aside to spend with Him.

I am going to have to work a bit harder to make sure all the dishes are done and the house clean on Fridays and that there is food prepared ahead of time so that no extra work is needed. For those of you not familiar with life here, EVERYTHING is work, from making the rice, to washing the dishes, to taking the cattle out to graze, even cleaning up a simple mess takes extra work. It all takes time and lots of energy. But with a little bit of planning ahead of time that can be taken care of.

I want to take the Sabbath and allow it to be a beautiful day, fill it with worship, community and rest. It isn’t a day to be dreaded but a day to look forward to; we are given a command to rest, to remember the covenant with our Creator. I rejoice in this news and I rejoice in a God who asks to spend a day with me, a mere servant.

Maji

2011-10-27T10:14:00.000-07:00

The well where we get water from

The life of an African is hard. We were spoiled in Tcad with having our own personal well at home –good for showering, drinking and everything in between.

Here it is work. We need water to flush, wash—face, teeth, body, clothes, dishes, floor, hands, hair –everything! Where do we get it? We draw it from outside, from the well with a bucket. To drink we must “import” from a nearby drinking well. When I first arrived it was raining everyday, now I haven’t seen rain in a week or so and our well shows it. We haven’t been able to easily get more than two full 5 gal buckets out of the well in a day. (If we do it’s slow going and very cloudy) The water that’s down there is dirty. It’s not very clear and just now Mary called me out there to look in the well and I didn’t like what I saw, ants! Lots of them, small clusters of them floating together, individual ones swimming around, doing who knows what, ekk. This is a hard life.

I already only flush once maybe twice a day. I haven’t showered as much as I should (even though I’m running in the mornings again (it should also be noted that while in the States I didn’t always shower everyday, it’s not always needed and it takes a lot of time)) I use the clean water for my teeth but the other for my face. I tell myself it’s like bathing in a river. I’ve got dirty clothes but I don’t want to use what little water we are pulling out, even though Mary says I can it’s okay to.

Soon I will be like the other women who take their dishes and clothes to the local clean waterspout to wash them. Or I’ll be carrying the 5 gallon bucket on my head twice a day.

Our proper well couldn’t come soon enough! The water people have marked the land for where we should dig and are waiting for the “official” permission to dig it. I’m hoping to have our water by December. Kinda like an early Christmas gift.

The good in this is I understand local needs a bit more and I won’t take water access for granted anymore.

I went to the beauty parlor.

2011-10-27T09:36:00.001-07:00

I made friends with the ladies at the beauty parlor in Usa Town. They liked my hair and were more than willing to fix my hair and pencil in my eyebrows. Wasn't that nice of them?

Mary

2011-10-27T08:18:00.001-07:00

Mary is 25 and has two beautiful children, Caren and Waren, whom they call Sharon. She currently works at the Ngordoto lodge a supervising waitress. She speaks English and Kiswahili, she is wanting to learn French and perhaps even Spanish.

Mary came to us via the Ngordoto Lodge Hotel where Shannin, Paul Pickle and Ron (of Florida Baptist Children's Home) met her while they were in Usa River, Tanzania to secure property to start the home for children back in May 2011. In a short time of knowing her they saw in her a beautiful character and a kindness, and she was endeared to them which lead them to ask her to move into their newly purchased house and help Sonya adapt to the culture and language, with the hopes that once the home is filled with children she would become the first house mother.

Mary is a kindred spirit in the few weeks that Sonya has been there they have had wonderful conversations together, discovering Mary's passion for God, the importance of open communication and her values in raising children to love others. She has opened up her heart and shares everything that is hers with Sonya, including giving her a konga (local African material used as a wrap around skirt) to wear around the house and making sure Sonya has always eaten and is comfortable in the area.

Mary isn't originally from the Usa River area. She was born and raised in the Moshi region, located on the lower slopes of Mount Kilimanjaro. Her mother still lives there with her younger sister, twin brother and sister and her cousins. Currently her mother is also taking care of her two children until she can bring them to Usa River to live with her as the housemother.

On her days off she likes to visit her family in Moshi, spending time with her children and mother is always a highlight to her week. On her most recent visit before she left Mama Mary (The cultural way to address Mary's mother) took time to have a family worship starting with singing some hymns with the family and then she shared Psalms 133 with the group.

"How good and pleasant it is

when God's people live together in unity!

It is like precious oil poured on the head,

running down on the beard,

running down on Aaron's beard,

down on the collar of his robe.

It is as if the dew of Hermon

Were falling on Mount Zion.

For there the Lord bestows his blessing,

Even life forevermore."

Indeed it is good to live together in harmony with God's people. We are very glad to have Mary join us, for now, as a volunteer here at Small Steps for Compassion and we soon hope to make her a full time employee.

Karibu sana Mary.

God is Good

2011-10-27T08:14:00.001-07:00

I signed on to work for Small Steps for Compassion officially right before I came here in October. But my heart was in it before that, I was just afraid to acknowledge it. All this last school year I had known I was to come here to Tanzania but I was afraid to leave all that I knew and the exciting, safe job I had. You can ask most anyone who lived near me or talked to me, I was uncertain as to where I was being called, much like our friend Jonah. I looked around for signs that God was leading me to stay and continue working at Camp Wawona, after all city kids needed to see God in the nature and in the mountains, right? I tried to ignore the fact that I had wanted an opportunity to start and work for an orphanage for years (most of my college career), that all my college work and studies had lead me to this job. Instead I was stuck in a bad wash cycle; I just kept spinning and spinning and spinning. I would try and convince God of the other plans and that I could passionately serve God from my safe corner of the world, which I could have. Just not to the full potential that God gave me. If I had stayed I would have slowly decayed in my compromise. I would never reach my full potential that I believe God is working in me currently. All along I had been given the proper encouragement from friends and family leading me to take this job; I had laid out my fleeces and they were wet, then they were dry. I knew by May that when the time came, when the official questions were asked I would say without fear, "Hear I am Lord, send me".

This summer was a hard one. The workload was different than the previous two summers, I had invested more of myself than ever before at a summer camp. It was summer number eleven, I was in it to win it, I was programming director and very excited. I still prayed almost daily that I would be ready when the time came to leave but was never quite sure when that would be. As the summer progressed I thought I was doing good, that things were going well, I was working hard, accomplishing things and I saw results of a team effort paying off. Yet, in my personal world things were bouncy. I had close friends asking me questions that I didn't understand, supervisors pulling me aside to ask questions and share statements that confused me. I thought I was doing a good job, I thought that this was one of my gifts, my talents, working at summer camps with youth, planning out programs. I had always loved it and reveled in the work. Now I wasn't so sure. I wasn't even sure if this was what I was good at. By the end of the summer camp season I was no longer on the rinse cycle, I was full on the spin cycle and I was hurting from it.

In all that pain, hurt and confusion I found something small that I needed, I found the ability to let go, to leave. It seems to me that it was a terrible way for me to realize where I am supposed to be. But I suppose being trapped in a belly of a whale was no walk in the park either. I have been here at my new home for a little over two weeks and I'm missing things from my old home in the mountains. I am missing the community, camaraderie, and even the workload, then again I also found that I am still processing and learning to forgive and let go.

I am here in Tanzania now. I am fully committed to changing children's lives. I have signed on to work hard at starting a home for children. All my passions from college are back; my mindset and my dreams are being blessed. God is here in this place. It is here in Tanzania, that I now plead for God to bless this home and in it my faith is being strengthened just as the author E. White put it in her book Steps to Christ, "You will plead with God, and your faith will be strengthened, and your soul will drink deeper drafts at the well of salvation. " It is from the lessons of this last summer that I realized the last part of the quote is true, "Encountering opposition and trials will drive you to the Bible and prayer. You will grow in grace and the knowledge of Christ, and will develop a rich experience."

So that is where I am now, growing, developing rich experiences, drinking deep of the living water, and taking small steps for compassion, everyday. Before I know it my house will be full of children who need that same love, salvation and grace, and because of my journey to get here I will be able to share it. I have tasted and seen that the Lord is good.

Dear Sonya of two-thousand-and-one

2011-10-26T23:00:00.000-07:00

Dear Sonya of two-thousand and one,

You have just entered a new phase of fun.

The years will pass and crash but you’ll have a blast

One day you’ll wake up and realize all the days have past

In those days you will feel,

Pain, joy, anger but in that you will be real.

The pain will come but not move in,

He’ll only come once in a wile, never to set up shop and win

Anger, he’ll be there too,

At people, yourself and God, but it will always just pass through.

The heart will grow the most;

Hold on to God, your safety post.

In the times you don’t know what to do,

In growing and changing, God will send you a working crew.

They will teach you, correct you, love you -for you,

Joke with you, laugh with you, and help when you are blue.

These people will be what make the years worth the fight.

Love them and trust them but don’t hold on to tight;

For in the years that you grow

You will move, and change for months in a row.

I will tell you one more thing.

Friendship and truth will always rein king.

The adventures you go on are to crazy to believe.

Just know in Tchad, Norway, Honduras, and America you’ll never work with a Steve.

The numbers of languages you’ll learn are really quite high

You’ll pass most Americans without much of a try.

So don’t worry Sonya of two-thousand and one

The days you are entering are quite full of fun

Hold on tight and enjoy the ride.

Your emotions will shift with the rise of each tide

Each bad moment wont last,

Each good one will go too fast.

Enjoy each day, each offer of heaven.

I’ll see you when you get here, in two-thousand and eleven.

Mary

2011-10-26T04:20:00.000-07:00

Mary came to us via the Ngordoto Lodge Hotel where Shannin, Paul Pickle and Ron (of Florida Baptist Children’s Home) met her while they were in Usa River, Tanzania to secure property to start the home for children back in May 2011. In a short time of knowing her they saw in her a beautiful character and a kindness, and she was endeared to them which lead them to ask her to move into their newly purchased house and help Sonya adapt to the culture and language, with the hopes that once the home is filled with children she would become the first house mother.

Mary is a kindred spirit in the few weeks that Sonya has been there they have had wonderful conversations together, discovering Mary’s passion for God, the importance of open communication and her values in raising children to love others. She has opened up her heart and shares everything that is hers with Sonya, including giving her a konga (local African material used as a wrap around skirt) to wear around the house and making sure Sonya has always eaten and is comfortable in the area.

Mary isn’t originally from the Usa River area. She was born and raised in the Moshi region, located on the lower slopes of Mount Kilimanjaro. Her mother still lives there with her younger sister, twin brother and sister and her cousins. Currently her mother is also taking care of her two children until she can bring them to Usa River to live with her as the housemother.

On her days off she likes to visit her family in Moshi, spending time with her children and mother is always a highlight to her week. On her most recent visit before she left Mama Mary (The cultural way to address Mary’s mother) took time to have a family worship starting with singing some hymns with the family and then she shared Psalms 133 with the group.

“How good and pleasant it is

when God’s people live together in unity!

It is like precious oil poured on the head,

running down on the beard,

running down on Aaron’s beard,

down on the collar of his robe.

It is as if the dew of Hermon

Were falling on Mount Zion.

For there the Lord bestows his blessing,

Even life forevermore.”

Indeed it is good to live together in harmony with God’s people. We are very glad to have Mary join us, for now, as a volunteer here at Small Steps for Compassion and we soon hope to make her a full time employee.

Karibu sana Mary.

God is Good

2011-10-26T03:24:00.000-07:00

This summer was a hard one. The workload was different than the previous two summers, I had invested more of myself than ever before at a summer camp. It was summer number eleven, I was in it to win it, I was programming director and very excited. I still prayed almost daily that I would be ready when the time came to leave but was never quite sure when that would be. As the summer progressed I thought I was doing good, that things were going well, I was working hard, accomplishing things and I saw results of a team effort paying off. Yet, in my personal world things were bouncy. I had close friends asking me questions that I didn’t understand, supervisors pulling me aside to ask questions and share statements that confused me. I thought I was doing a good job, I thought that this was one of my gifts, my talents, working at summer camps with youth, planning out programs. I had always loved it and reveled in the work. Now I wasn’t so sure. I wasn’t even sure if this was what I was good at. By the end of the summer camp season I was no longer on the rinse cycle, I was full on the spin cycle and I was hurting from it.

In all that pain, hurt and confusion I found something small that I needed, I found the ability to let go, to leave. It seems to me that it was a terrible way for me to realize where I am supposed to be. But I suppose being trapped in a belly of a whale was no walk in the park either. I have been here at my new home for a little over two weeks and I’m missing things from my old home in the mountains. I am missing the community, camaraderie, and even the workload, then again I also found that I am still processing and learning to forgive and let go.

I am here in Tanzania now. I am fully committed to changing children’s lives. I have signed on to work hard at starting a home for children. All my passions from college are back; my mindset and my dreams are being blessed. God is here in this place. It is here in Tanzania, that I now plead for God to bless this home and in it my faith is being strengthened just as the author E. White put it in her book Steps to Christ, “You will plead with God, and your faith will be strengthened, and your soul will drink deeper drafts at the well of salvation. “ It is from the lessons of this last summer that I realized the last part of the quote is true, “Encountering opposition and trials will drive you to the Bible and prayer. You will grow in grace and the knowledge of Christ, and will develop a rich experience.“

Onesmo my rafiki kidogo.

2011-10-25T11:42:00.003-07:00

Onesmo, the neighbor kid who's my rafiki kidogo, little friend, and his dad is the gardener/guard, came over again Wednesday after I got back from the market, to finish coloring his picture I gave him on Tuesday. I had given him a blank piece of paper to draw on with my measly 8 off-brand crayons I bought at the airport on my way over. He asked me to draw him an ua, however he asked me in Kiswahili and I had no idea what he was talking about, I just heard sounds, vowels and consonants mixed together. Thanks to my trusty dictionary and me repeating some 'words' back to him to figure out the main meaning I learned the word for flower, ua. So today, he was back to finish coloring the ua I drew for him.

What a funny little boy! The gate was closed and since he is only about 6 he couldn't reach the bar to open it he found an entrance for small people in the bushes. (I realized it when his mother was calling to him and he had to get me to open the gate so he could get out.) I honestly have no idea what he is saying most of the time! He talks so fast. However I was able to understand he wanted a glass of maji, water. I can't believe he doesn't get upset when I don't understand him the first 100 times. He is very patient with me and generous. He gave me a zawadi, gift, of a square of gum on Tuesday and a package of two glucose crackers (what a funny thing to label cookies—glucose!). He likes to pop over after he gets home from school around 11 and see what's going on and if he can help his dad with things. All in all I'm glad to have him around. He keeps me company and helps me learn Kiswahili.

Tangeru Market

2011-10-25T11:42:00.001-07:00

What a day, last Wednesday! I got my library card and check out the Kiswahili book. Now I have no excuses! So each AM three things to do: worship, check on work, and Kiswahili lessons.

I also went by myself to the Tangeru Market, that's the bigger market and on Saturdays and Wednesday. What an adventure! It is very big. I first went to the clothing 'department'. It was like a giant flea market! Clothing everywhere. Each category was present, men's, women's, children and even sub categories; fleece sweaters, pants, skirts, ties, hats, there were even blankets, towels, rugs, curtains, material and heaps of household things, just a lot of everything. It wasn't the people who overwhelmed me; just the thought of everything I need to be getting for work.

We are working on getting together a catalog of prices and pictures of things we need for the home/kids. I thought about getting prices from things at the market because that is where most things come from for local households, but I then doubted people would want to buy second hand things for our main purchases for our nyumbani, home. We could buy things from the market for extras or if I found something great, like the nice rug I got for my room and the small mirror for my bathroom. Other than that I'm going to go in to Arusha to 'real' stores to get prices on everything like clothes, pots, and school supplies. I hope to do that this week with the help of Mary.

After looking around/getting lost in the giant 'department' of clothing I worked my way towards the food section. It proved harder to do than originally I had thought. I had to ask for directions, but I wasn't doing a good job. I was asking, "Wapi embe?" which is "Where Mango". Not the best method I've used at communicating before. I was being sent basically in a big circle, and that was frustrating. I didn't want to keep passing the same people, I was getting hungry and you wouldn't believe the heat that I was finding under the Tanzanian sun! At the last place I went to I purposely looked for younger people and asked the same thing, then I tried a new word, Napenda. I like. Then they were beginning to understand, it also helped they spoke more English than the others before. They taught me a new word, nataka, I want. Ahh, the word of the day! "Nataka ndizi", I want bananas. Phew, help was on its way and one of the nice ladies walked me over to the food section.

The food section was just as big as the clothing and it was wonderful. I just love markets, farmers markets, clothing markets, flea markets, and this one was what I would call a great market or perhaps a super market. They had the food I wanted, avocados, bananas, garlic, onions, rice, oranges, and lemons. They had it all and more. I made my purchases, worked my way out and found my daladala, bus, for Usa River, bought a roasted corn for a snack and made my way nyumbani. What a great adventure the Tangeru market is to be sure.

Rejoice

2011-10-20T02:02:00.001-07:00

Rejoice--

For the Lord has come down to bless us.

He sent His messenger to dwell with us.

Why the sorrow?

Why the indifference?

Look about you--He is here.

If you are not joyful

the rocks will cry out.

Show love, excitement

For we serve a mighty, powerful God

who delights in us, His creation and masterpiece

He does love us.

Don't doubt His want of us, of you, of me.

He gave the most prized possession in His life

to secure our freedom.

Rejoice.

My first time as an adult woman

2011-10-17T08:50:00.000-07:00

What a funny title? But really it's true. Here's the scoop:

This last weekend I read in my Bible in Hebrews 13:2 about how we should treat those who come within our gates kindly and feed

them and show them hospitality because we could in fact be entertaining angels. It made me think about the men who had been at my house working to make the topography map, I hadn't fed them or even asked if they wanted water and they were working hard all day long. So I thought to myself I want to be the kind of person who gives to people without asking for something back. I know that it's what God would want me to do.

Then today I had the chance to do that, the men came back to finish working and I made rice pilaf for them. I cut and cooked the tomatoes, garlic, ginger, onions and green peppers to put in the rice. Then I brought out the water for the hands just like had been taught, and the only chairs I had (two big plastic ones) and I fed the 4 men who were working at my house all day. It was fun and I enjoyed serving them food.

The view from right inside the second gate.

It made me feel like a proper African woman. It took extra work to cook all of it and now I don't have any more rice but it's okay because I did what God asked of me. To feed those within my gate.

A fruit salad blog.

2011-10-14T08:30:00.001-07:00

I made a list Wednesday of things to talk about, while traveling with Mary back from Moshi, her families town.

On the way home Mary bought some sugar cane. Yummy. As I was chomping, chewing and sucking on the sugar cane, it made me think that perhaps that form of sugar was stronger and made it faster into my system than perhaps sugar in chi or soda. In fact I was wondering if it was comparable to tobacco chew? It's got the same movements. . . . So I imagined it gave me instant sugar, instant rush. Ha that seems funny to me.

Also I noted how in my few short years of existence/travels I've been called many things --- and they all seem to mean the same thing. They have different origins but still the same meaning, the same setting, the same method of sharing the word and the same effect on me.

Gringa,

Nasara,

Mzungu.

On our way to pick up eggs Tuesday from the chicken farm (more on that later) we passed Maxi, he runs a local shack/shop on our road. As we passed he said something about a mzungu and I, in typical Sonya fashion, decided I should let him know that was not my name. So I pasted together the words to say in Kiswahili, "Hapana mzungu, jina la guni Sonya. Hapana mzungu." Then he wanted to know if I was a mama or a dada. Mama being a mom (duh) which then he would put my child's name next, for example my mom would be Mama Christopher, because of my older brother. Dada would be a nanny of sorts/house lady/baby sitter (duh :)). Being neither I told him rafiki, friend.

Now when I pass he shouts out, "Rafiki!". Much better.

While traveling on the bus Wednesday I was given a glimpse of how it must have been for my grandma at baseball games. When I as younger we would all go together as a family and watch the Rangers play. All during the game we'd eat peanuts, drink soda (Dr. Pepper being the summer drink of choice in Texas) and cotton candy or other sweet things. Then at the end of the game my Grandma would start to pick up all the peanut shells and we would tell her, " No Grandma, just leave them. There are people who pick it up for us, it's their job." Even then we'd have to work to convince her to just leave them on the ground. The insight for me came on the bus with Mary. She took my trash out of my hand (I was saving it for a trash can) and she put it on the ground, under our feet. The same place we would put our trash at baseball games, and I had trouble doing that on that bus. Perhaps it's the "leave no trace" training that has been engraved in me over the last year. It's going to be picked up by a worker and it's better than throwing it out the window as they do in other countries. Knowing all that I still had trouble with the bus and my trash. Really though, is there a difference? I wish my grandma was around so I could ask her.

I made notes about these thoughts while on the bus and how I needed to write them down because I need to share the thoughts from my head. Especially here where English is spoken but culture is still different, jokes still hard to get. If you'd have been with me on that bus I would have leaned over and whispered them to you. You would have promptly laughed out loud and perhaps shared something back with me. I can't help it, I like people and I like to share with them, to make a connection. So consider yourself connected, now share back.

500 stories.

2011-10-11T05:11:00.000-07:00

I've been telling stories on here for awhile, since I first found out I was going to Tchad in 2007. Now here I am back on the African continent writing stories about starting an orphanage. Here's my 500th story.

I walked to visit a friend and took a trail through the village. I went to Arusha town yesterday in a crowded dala dala (bus). I ate ugali with my hands (very similar to Tchadian buile). Today I washed my clothes by hand outside, I drew water from the well and I talked to a neighbor kid in English while he talked to me in Kiswahili.

All these things are special. The funny thing is they make me miss home. You might be thinking my American home with my family and friends that I grew up with, worked with, and went on adventures with. That, however, is not who I was missing the most. I am missing my Tchadian family, mi famil. Because it was those wonderful people who taught me how to be an African, they taught me to draw water from a well, bathe from a bucket, eat with my hands and so many other things that I need to know how to do here. I only wish I was there with them. Then I wouldn't have to learn a new language, adapt to new customs, and I could dance and play with them.

The great part is what they have taught me makes me a better person, a better worker here in Tanzania with starting this orphanage. Since I'm supposed to be making friends with the community knowing how to do things and not being afraid of doing them is a plus. Sure I need to learn Swahili (Tanya, that's the official language here :), and learn to make ugali. But I know how to learn. I know how to learn those things, I've got experience. I enjoyed my family in Tchad and will enjoy my new family here (as soon as the kids come! Until then I have my friend Mary and the neighborhood), I will enjoy struggling to remember words because I can remember what it was like for me the when I was in Tchad and how eventually the struggle goes away and the words flow.

So you see,

God is good.

For three days when Abraham was walking Isaac to the mountain to sacrifice him to God he thought about all that God had done for him in the past, all that God had done for his fore-fathers. How God never abandoned them or asked something of them that they could not do. He remembered God could be trusted to keep His promises. And like him, I too am remembering what God has done for me in the past. There is no need to worry, be afraid or doubt. I'm not, so you don't either.

My address:----->

2011-10-09T06:57:00.000-07:00

Check it out it's to the right.

Or you could just keep reading and get it that way . . .

Sonya Reaves

c/o Juma Kitau

PO Box 15098

Arusha, Tanzania

Love via the post is one of the best kinds.

Melatonin

2011-10-09T06:32:00.001-07:00

I've been taking melatonin at night to help me sleep all night and get over jet lag. It's been working fairly well but I think it's been giving me crazy dreams! On Thursday night I had a horrible, awful, terrible, scary, crazy dream. Now if I tell you, you have to promise to not laugh or tease, it's a valid fear and clearly it disturbs me if I dreamt about it.

I dreamt that I was at a zoo or aquarium or something. I was looking at a squid in it's tank. Then suddenly the squid got out of the zoo or wherever it was and it was flying around. It was all around the sky. It was so scary. I ran along with everyone else to the forest where we climbed the giant sequoia trees. Then the trees started to fall. So I some how jumped out of the falling tree onto the another tree. Then suddenly that tree started to fall. I didn't want to die by tree or by flying squid as others were, so as it fell I waited until it was at an angle then slid down the tree to safety. I'm not completely sure but I think that tree landed on the squid. Phew.

I hate flying squid.

The first few days at home

2011-10-09T06:21:00.001-07:00

About my new Home

The house is bigger and smaller than I thought. My room is smaller, the kitchen bigger. My room has a desk build into the wall (pictures later) and two little shelves. I love the fireplace in the corner and my big windows along two of the four walls. They capture the morning sun nicely. I've unpacked all my things and just need to get a few things from the market to finish making it comfy. However it might actually take some time because I want to find someone who can make baskets and a house plant or two. I'll try and go to the market this week.

My first night home I arrived rather late and just had a shower before bed. The funny part was that we don't have any running water. . . so I showered out of a bucket. I am so blessed to have lived in Tchad. My family there taught me to be an African. I will forever be in debt to them for being patient with me, so now when I live in another African country I can confidently say, "I know how to do that, I can wash myself with a bucket of water, clean my clothes with my hands, draw water from a well, cook rice over a fire." How blessed I am. My house, however, will get running water soon. As much fun as drawing water for my shower, flushing the toilet (at least there is a toilet I always say) and for washing my hands I look forward to simply turning a nob and letting it run. It will also be good because right now we have to bring water in from another place to drink, how very vogue African.

I still have so much to learn.

I must also be honest. The first few days ( I can say the first few because now I've been here a whopping 4 days) I would get quite overwhelmed. My thoughts would just dive into all the 'things' that need to be accomplished. But they need to be accomplished by 6 months or so. I had to keep reminding myself I'd only been at home for a few days and I wasn't in a rush, pole pole (slowly slowly) as they say. I read in my worship on Thursday something that also helped. It said: "God is my strenght and power, and He makes my way perfect" 2 Samuel 22:33. Then CF Stanley said about that text, "He delights in showing me again and again that He is the source of my strength, myprovision, my protection, and my ultimate success in life." Phew, what a great reminder. Pole pole, trust God. Amen

Nyubani Sweet Nyubani, a story in Swahilish

2011-10-09T04:43:00.000-07:00

The mtoto was very hungry. As she was near the mzungu's nyuba she decided to look around and see what she could find to eat. She was grouchy when she wanted chakula. Off in the distance she saw a tree with tiny little embe's, they were not even close to being ripe, then she climbed a another tree and founds some small, green pere that wasn't even close to being pink inside and she decided to not eat those either. Then she walked back in the ndizi plantation to see if there were any in the tree, alas there was only a few tiny green bunches. Not even a tumbili would want them. Suddenly the mvoa started to fall and she ran for cover. While in the cover a paka rubbed against her legs and she decided to find chakula at nyuba. As she walked away the mzungo yelled after her, "Una kwenda wapi?" and she replied, "Na kwenda nyubani to eat". The mzungu replied with a smile, "Come back kesho and I'll have a chungwa for you". So the little girl and her paka went nyubani and returned the next day to visit her new rafiki.

You also might not have known.

2011-10-04T13:37:00.000-07:00

When I tell people I'm helping to start an orphanage I don't think they realize what that actually means. I didn't until the last few months, mainly this last week.

I am arriving to my house this week. We don't really know what is at my house as far as furniture goes or accessories like plates, bowls and silverware. We do know Juma just bought my bed. We don't know Mary's (the other woman who lives there) schedule for work, does she work all day every day? I don't even know what food is there and what I'll need to by right away. But that makes it exciting for me. I get to frugally buy things for the house, table, bowls and perhaps some other things if funding is there. We are on uncharted waters, this is awesome.

I learned that I get to work on relationships not only with the community, which I am really excited about because I can't wait to drink chi with people and chat and learn Kiswahili and make new friends, but I also need to build relationships with the local University, the SDA one and the public one as well. I get to build relationships with people in positions that can help the growth of the home. I get to develop paperwork to build this orphanage, set up infrastructures and other cool things.

I am glad we aren't planning on accepting children until at least January because of all the community building and development we are working on. Small Steps for Compassion and I are both on the same page with building community and keeping the local culture the main concern and priority in our home. Things are going great.

When I meet people on the plane I just don't think they understand all of those things. I don't even know if I understand all of those things, but I'm glad. I have so much ahead of me and I'm along for the ride. If you are interested in helping set up my house feel free to donate :) Just donate and make sure that you label it for the home fund. I'll put up some pictures soon and keep updating them as I make it a cozy home.

Lots of love from Montreal-Trudeau, Canada airport.

What I learned this week in life.

2011-10-01T16:13:00.000-07:00

People believe in me.

People support me.

People sacrifice for me.

I am loved.

To all those people, thank you.

Thank you for encouraging me to do what I love, for listening to me talk with passion about life, for allowing me to be me.

I don't know how I would have survived alone because you made life survivable, thank you.

To all those of you I talked to this last week, whether for 2 min or for 2 hours, thank you.

You are part of something bigger than yourself, part of something bigger than me, something bigger than starting an orphanage from scratch in Tanzania. You are part of the body of Christ.

"In fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as He wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body"
1 Corinthians 12:18-20

Things are happening

2011-09-28T18:47:00.000-07:00

I've been traveling a lot these last few days. In fact all this week I'll be flying somewhere every three days. I've been in Collegedale, TN meeting with a professor in the Social Work dept of Southern Adventist University, seeing friends and being inspired by my cousin who was in Tanzania last year.

I'm right now in Florida to meet with the board of Small Steps for Compassion to go over last minute details about work before I fly out on Tuesday next week.

Then I'm off to Knoxville for a weekend retreat with a close friend and God before the games begin!

I just can't believe all that is happening. I've been telling the story so many times these last few days. I need to sit down and write it all out so I can store it for encouragement later. I've seen God connect me with people left and right who are encouraging, wise and energetic. I'm excited for this journey. I'm done waiting and wondering because I know where I am called and am ready for action.

Tanzania here I come!

2011-09-17T21:03:00.000-07:00

I've got my plane ticket to head to my new job and home.

On October 4 I'm boarding the plane for Arusha, Tanzania.

Wahoooooo!

I'm working for Small Steps For Compassion as the Children's Home Director. Wowza, I have business cards and everything.

I've got a home to move into, a language to learn, a culture to adapt to and children to meet and fall in love with :)

If you are interested in the organization feel free to check it out. If you have any questions feel free to email me. While I'm over there I'll have internet so don't worry we can skype, email and creep on each others pictures still :)

We have a new video that has some updates, a fundraising event in Fl, pictures of our home and so much happening for the organization.

So please keep me in your prayers over the next few weeks as I am getting ready to leave, meeting with people and packing my stuff.

Also if you ever want to visit please do. I'm near the base of Mount Kilimanjaro, the Serengeti, Ngorongoro Crater . You are always welcome. Karabu Mzungu.

Kwaheri.

Growing and shrinking of my world.

2011-09-17T18:54:00.000-07:00

My world this last weekend, at Jerrod and Jifer's wedding, got smaller and bigger all at the same time.

I met Emily Wilkens who wrote African Rice Heart about her time living in Tchad, the year after I did. We had been trying to meet up for a long time.

I also got to sit with a bunch of new friends from Camp MiVoden.

I also got to hang out with some good friends.

Mountains in my life

2011-09-01T15:34:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning in Auburn,Wa. to the light creeping in the windows of my friends motorhome. We are roadtriping home to Texas from Central California/Yosmite, 4 kids, 2, 6, 8, and 10, Shirlean and myself in a 40 foot motorhome with a 20ft car in tow. We went up to Redding,Ca then over to Eureka, Ca and the US 101. North on that till just inside Washington then east till we hit Auburn/Seattle. Which is where you find me right now.

It is here that I find the sun squeezing in the closed windows. I knew today would be different, the sky would be clear and the sunshine warm. As the team ventures outside to head to the fresh produce places I see Mount Reiner, bolf and confident off in the distance. Then I realized in a little over a month I will be living in Arusha, Tanzania with another mountain standing bold and confidant in my horizon,Mount Kilimanjaro.

I am excited and ready fo my next step in life. I will remember the excitment and love I feel this morning. The energy, the sunshine from today, the prayers that are going up for the future kids of the Small Steps for Compassion Home. The mountains. God's calling. Home, love, family, and friends. I have tucked it all away in hy heart.

Mother Earth

2011-08-21T12:39:00.000-07:00

I've made Josh Alfaro cry

I've paid no attention to the well being of others

It was as if I didn't even try

I was rude and thoughtless to all the worlds mothers

The action was made

The deed compleated

If only there had been a trade

If only I'd have retreated

It was at potluck where it all went down

The act was commited

It was where Josh would have worn his frown

I should be aquitted

For I ate with styrafoam.

Psalms 138:8

2011-06-20T15:59:00.000-07:00

"The Lord will work out His plans for my life --

for Your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever.

Don't abandon me, for you made me."

Day 309 of Year Round Staff

2011-06-06T23:08:00.000-07:00

This is it.

Tomorrow I cross over to Summer Camp Staff.

I did it. I worked the whole year here in Wawona.

I made friends with our neighbors, I explored the back country, I got a library card and I am on a first name basis with our mail office.

I learned so much from the people I worked with.

I learned how to
cook for 200 people.
make home made pop-tarts.
drive a back hoe.
identify the trees of the Sierras.
what it is like to live with people who tell the truth in love.
work long hours for something I love.
survive in the snow with a small amount of people for long periods of time and no electricity.
run 13.1 miles.
be friends.

This year was a good one.

"How shall I go in peace and without sorrow?
Nay, not without a wound in the spirit shall I leave this city."
~Khalil Gibran

3280

2011-05-26T10:33:00.000-07:00

At first I was afraid

I was petrified

Kept thinking I could never run a mile

To save my life

But then I started training

My legs grew strong

I learned how to run real far

And I'm not sore

I ran through empty space

I didn't walk that much and

I ran my training pace

It all paid off

I ran my heart out

For 13.1 miles

I will run more

As long as I have shoes

I know I will run to live

I've got all my energy to give

I will run

I will run more

Hey, hey.

Run

2011-05-18T13:23:00.000-07:00

I ran 6 miles in the Sierra Mountain's spring rain storm.

I am an athlete

I am a runner

Simple

2011-05-14T16:44:00.000-07:00

I have something I want to say about simplicity. I learned it last week; the funny thing is though I can’t get it out. I can’t seem to find a way to simply say it.

The concept is what I learned from my students this last week of outdoor school. We discovered how important it is to keep communication simple. To cut off all the extra words, to cut off all the extra fat that isn’t needed to make your point.

I was reminded that it is important to not put extra words but to keep it simple and to the point. Even now I am struggling with that.

I’ve been praying a lot lately about life. I’ve been trying to be honest and simple with God. It is not always easy. I always want to add fluff to the hard things to say, even to God, I always want to put a cherry on top and soften my feelings, but I can’t always do that. I need to be honest and straight. Why is it scary to be honest with God? Why is it terrifying to ask Him “Why?”.

With people it is even harder, how often do my conversations involve fluff? How often am I afraid of getting down to the hard stuff in peoples lives and relationships because I don’t know how to comfort or relate? I end up using words to sooth over pain or loss instead of simplifying communication and letting them talk.

I want to be simple in my communication.

I want to be simple in my thoughts.

I want life to be simple.

My students reminded me that you don’t always conquer communication in one try; you can’t always make things simple the first go round. Practice, however, does make perfect or at lest better.

Simply put: I’m working on it.

Just around the river bend

2011-05-06T21:24:00.000-07:00

Summer is just around the river bend. How do I know these things to be true? Well here are the facts.

The afternoon air is getting warmer
There are kids at camp
The "Get Away Van" is back in its usual parking spot on Forest Dr
The sun is up by 6 am
The sun doesn't set until at least 8pm
The work days are long
The wagons are back at the Historic Village
The Horses are back in town at the Historic Village
Construction has started again on the road to the Valley
The Wawona Hotel is back open
There are random foreigners all over the place
The are long lines of traffic to get into the park
The road up to Mariposa Grove is open again
It's hard to find parking in the Valley
I'm wearing my Choco's

I love my job.

2011-05-05T21:52:00.000-07:00

My first week as an instructor: Snow

My third week as an instructor: climbing Yosemite Falls

I really do love what I do.

Nature is Big.

2011-05-03T17:02:00.000-07:00

This isn’t a story to complain. This isn’t a story to complain about the long hours we work here at camp. This is a story about the amazingness of the outdoors.

It’s day two of outdoor school, which means we are hiking around the Wawona area. Last week I went up river, this week I’m going up Chilnualna falls. The last few days had been long, not to mention weeks, I didn’t get to bed early either because I was doing last minute work on summer camp stuff. The morning came way to early. I had kitchen duty since it was Paulette’s day off, I was in there by 7am getting the tofu and oatmeal ready. Jesus time was needed badly. I needed to find some time and ask for help for myself and to pray for the others in our staff, something we all talked about doing more of. I found time after breakfast/before we left for our hike. In that time I read:

The Lord is my strength and shield.

I trust him with all my heart.
He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy.
I burst out in songs of thanksgiving.

Psalms 28:7

How did the day go? Beautifully. Not because of anything I did with the kids, only because of where we were. We were in the beauty of Yosemite’s backcountry. It was amazing how all the tiredness of the days, all the stresses of the future and all the complications of the mind disappeared. The sky was blue, blue and the trees were so big and green. Man God is good!

It’s true the outdoors are a balm for the soul.

Land ho!

2011-04-25T16:31:00.000-07:00

The organization I will be working for in the fall, Small Steps for Compassion, has found the property that God set aside for them. It's in Usa River, Tanzania. Right outside of Arusha. (here's a map). Things had gotten a bit crazy for awhile with the search for land, it's a long story that I would love to tell you about in person sometime.

The great thing is this property looks wonderful! I haven't been there to see it yet but I was in the area last fall and I liked it. It is 11 acres, has mango, guava (my favorite!) avocado and macadamia nut trees! There are also corn and coffee plants. A fish pond, a wall with gates already built, There are so many varieties of flowering plants, trees and bushes! Lots of colourful birds and a view of Mt Meru and Kilimanjaro on a clear day.

Part of the 11 acres

The outside of the first house on the property.

The inside main room of the house.

Beautiful isn't it?

If you would like to see more photographs please click here!

I don't know what all God has in store for me and the children of Tanzania. But I trust and will take life one step at a time following where He leads.

Shoes

2011-04-25T11:34:00.001-07:00

I bought a pair of shoes on Friday.

They were cheep and I needed them.

However, the description of them is a bit more than I wanted in a pair of shoes.

"Patent pending technology with two curved pods that create slight instability while you walk which encourages muscle toning."

I'm not sure I want "slight instability" while I walk. I'm already slightly unstable.

And the patent is still pending. Does that mean they aren't safe?

And they're white. I hate white shoes on my feet. They are distracting to me when I walk.

But they were cheep and will get the job done.

Life.

2011-04-23T09:23:00.000-07:00

"The place God has called you to is where your deepest passion
and the worlds deepest hunger meet."

Go where God is calling you.
Be present where you are.
Your deepest passion, that's where He is.

Complicated

2011-04-18T23:05:00.000-07:00

What a word.

My student used it today to describe working together as a team. On talking about learning how to communicate, learning how to accomplish a goal.

It was complicated, she said.

I liked that word.

It's complicated.

Summer 2010

2011-04-03T09:38:00.000-07:00

I've recently watched the summer camp staff video from 2010 and it has made me miss many things.

I've smelled the fresh pine air with the warm sunshine and it makes me think of mornings in the summer.

I've cleaned the Cowgirls bathroom and the cold porcelain smell reminds me of summer camp.

I miss it.

I miss:

Good long talks with Kimberly
Counseling with Laura Brownlow
Laughing at Nick and Ashley's antics in the morning
Chris Cluzet's ability to always amaze me with his awesomeness
Having a needed deep conversation with Beth Hartman
Being inspired by Jessie Turner
Brainstorming with Chelsea
Getting clean clothes from Kaitlyn
Trying to understand Fraiser
Seeing Allison in all her beauty
Watching the Keele's interact on stage- "Whatever Jill"
Crying about Peter with Gabe
Jamming at the Poolympics with DJ Donnie Crook
Watching Rambi perform
Laughing at the Klusterhuises work without their shirts-always
Hanging out at the river with Princess
Camping out at Indian camp with Katie for her first time
Loving all the energy Paulette puts to use for us
Watching my campers interact and knowing how awesome they are
Watching God do His greatest work at night with the stars
Feeling real on Friday nights

What do you miss?

Running Fever.

2011-04-01T22:15:00.000-07:00

It's spring and I think instead of getting cabin fever I have gotten running fever and it's catching!

I love hearing how other people are thinking about or actually getting out and running! It's good, it's fun and what a great thing for your body and heart.

It's good for my heart because I think while I run, I process life. When I'm not thinking about how I will get enough energy to make it up the hill, I am thinking about what God has done in my life or what He will do. My heart has a chance to get cleaned out.

Today I ran with Brittany, I was tired to start with but I wanted to go. It's strange how I want to go even when my body doesn't. The extra milage was a bit hard but it can't kill me. I even attacked the hills with some vengeance and Brittany gave me encouragement by informing me I was going faster than I had before.

I never thought I would be training for a Fresno 1/2 marathon.

I'm excited about it.

I can call myself a runner now right?

In it to win it.

2011-03-29T20:44:00.000-07:00

Today I have been given the number 1662.

It is my official race number.

I have paid my dues to race.

I am in it to win it!

Earth

2011-03-24T08:32:00.001-07:00

Earth was bold and beautiful.

Every planet, star, and moon circled around her.

She was the center of the universe.

The sun gave her warmth as it marveled at her charm and depth.

All planets couldn't stop looking and watching, even if they had wanted to.

For she was the center of the universe, she captivated them all.

Capturing the attention of Jupiter, Saturn and Mars was how Earth lived.

She told stories of her people, of her great creation.

Always watching everything around her.

Because she was the center of the universe, always looking at herself.

One early moon rotation her sphere stopped.

Everything came to a dizzying halt.

All did not focus on her or circle around her?

Earth was not indeed the center of the universe?

Earths breath slowed, her thoughts churned.

She had been thinking all wrong.

Even now her thinking was focused wrong, it was on herself.

She looked around at the other planets, moons and stars.

She was in the circle too, rotating around the Sun.

The other planets needed the companionship that Earth could offer.

When was the last time Earth took a moment to check on Pluto?

If only she would remember to offer true friendship.

The Sun was the true center, whom they all looked upon

It was He who she needed to have her eyes on.

She could offer what warmth He gave her to the others.

She could give back what she had taken; love, compassion, companionship and her heart.

Earth's world had changed, her perception had grown.

The Sun forgave her.

The stars took pity.

As for the planets, well, Earth hoped the planets could teach her.

Her heart.

2011-03-22T21:39:00.000-07:00

Her heart hungered for more.

All this time she had been looking in the wrong place. She had been looking toward man to see where she fit in, to know if she was valued. She had stopped looking at the truth.

Her heart thirsted for more.

Where could she go to fill her heart? To quench her thirst? She found herself in the middle of a desert, a wasteland and she wanted out. She wanted the peace she knew was hers to own, the love that was meant for her alone.

The cry had gone out.

This time her eyes were clear, her ears ready. She saw His love for her in the everyday, the special gifts and the simple beauty. She heard His words to her in his letters, in His songs and from His messengers.

The connection was made.

He told her: “I have loved you with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself.* I have called you by name, you are mine. You are precious to me. You are honored, I love you.+”

*Jeremiah 31:3; +Isaiah 43:1,4

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night ...

2011-03-20T16:05:00.000-07:00

Last year when I lived in Skotselv, Norway I would often refer to my world as a snow globe, the kind you buy in the fancy souvenir shop. The fluffy cold snow floating gently down to the ground was a sight to behold. Walking a mile down the hill at temperatures below zero was not so terrible because I lived in a real snow globe.

Today I live in a slushy machine, the kind you see in a 7-11. The snow is falling almost as fast as the snow is melting on the road. The flakes are big and fatty. When you go anywhere you have to watch out for the swirls and dips of slushy. Going for my long run today was like jogging in the middle of the mix cycle of the slushy machine.

My feet were soaked, my hoodie drenched and my nose runny. But I ran, I was skeptical at first but after the initial shock of jogging in rain/snow/water I was good. Brittany and I plugged along at first at quite a fast pace as if somehow we were trying to outrun the falling snow. At mile 3 I slowed to a slush and she kept on plugging away. The run overall was good, I didn’t do the full 5 miles because my feet were to wet to keep going and Brittany couldn’t even feel her toes. I ran more than I have before but the biggest goal of today was to go. To go run in the snow/rain/water. That was dedication. Phew, I’m glad it’s done with. I’m glad I had to do it, I’m really glad Brittany came and got me to run with her. I’m really glad that you can’t live in a slushy machine forever.

On track.

2011-03-18T17:09:00.000-07:00

Since telling the world about my plan to run the half marathon with Brittany I have been motivated to run. Which is a good thing. However when the clock says 6:15 am I am not as motivated and very thankful for Brittany, who is eager and her energy and drive to run.

It's funny because I want to run this. I want to accomplish this. Yet, it is easier for me to joke about how I hate it, be grouchy about running and talk about the negatives about the whole thing. Each time it comes up I fall back on fear and talk about how hard it will be. Why? What am I afraid of? Failure? I shouldn't be because it's only 13.1 miles and I can do it. That's why I'm training. I know that I can make it in under 4 hours, that I can run over half of the miles. Sure, looking at the map is overwhelming, looking at the clock in the am is daunting and pushing up all the hills is really hard. But I can do it. I can. I know I can.

The second morning of running it was Brittany, myself and a friend visiting from MI, Jessie. It was nice to have the third person who is a good runner because her and Brittany could talk and I listened, which distracted me for the first whole mile. The whole run was easier than the first day. I jogged past the 2 mile mark/stop sign. My lungs hurt really bad on the big hill going up so I had to slow down to a fast walk. The positive about training in the mountains, so they say, is that when I get down to Fresno my lungs will be bigger/better.

This morning was much harder than the previous two. It might be because it's Friday and Kimberly and Jessie are here visiting so we talked LOTS and used up energy on Thursday. The 1st mile was long, the second mile even longer. My lungs hurt. I didn't keep jogging at the stop sign, I had to slow a bit to breath. I did jog more later on the way back.

This is hard.

I can do it though.

The journey, as most are, will be worth it. Friendships are being made, lungs expanded, hope increased and endurance pushed.

The drive.

2011-03-15T21:40:00.000-07:00

I am a bit afraid to type this tonight. Simply because if I do it will be recorded in the world wide web. Forever someone will be able to pull it up and judge me. They will be able to take what I said and compare it to what I did. That's scary. That's permanent. That's real. I think however I need to say this, I need to type it out. I'm a kind of person who needs to be held accountable, I need encouragement, I need support and I need to do this.

Tentatively I am planning. . . ah this is hard. . . Iamplanningonrunningahalfmarathon.

I am planning on running a half marathon.

There I said it, I typed it for the whole world to read and judge.

To the world I say: Judge away.

To my friends I say: Help!

How it happened:

Brittany came early to camp to help in the office and we were talking about going running together and after talking to another old camp staffer who is running a half marathon the first of May, Brittany and I talked about how it would be cool if we could run a race, we joked about making our own Wawona race. Then later that evening she found a half marathon in Fresno the end of May. Soooo, it's now or never.

I've got a great running partner.

I've got the time. (hopefully, outdoor school might be my downfall. Which is why I still say tentatively.)

I've got the drive (sorta, Brittany has to help me along a bit)

Tonight was the first time I jogged 2 miles. Jogged, not wogged. I jogged 2 miles without stopping! Wow, perhaps I can go 13.1 miles by the end of May. . . if you do anything with that statement please let it be an encouragement to me. I need all the help and tips I can get.

Sooooooooooo,

Here goes!

Macaw

2011-03-13T21:04:00.000-07:00

A few months ago I asked my friend Kessia what kind of animal she would be if she were an animal. It got me thinking and I have come to a conclusion.

I would be a macaw and here's why.

I would still get to wear bright colours.

I would still be sociable.

Because I could hang out on the shoulder of a pirate.

They can speak French and are really smart.

Who am I?

2011-03-11T21:39:00.000-08:00

I took that myers briggs quiz tonight for fun. However it only lead to confuse me. It said I was a ESFJ.

When I took the quiz earlier this year the quiz had said I was a ENFP.

The time before that it said I was a ENFJ.

I just don't know who I am anymore!

Then I took the number quiz to see if it was any nicer.

It said I was a type 7.

What are you?

Hold on.

2011-03-11T07:41:00.000-08:00

"Let us hold tightly to the hope we say we have, for

God can be trusted to keep His promise."

Hebrews 10:23

Cattle on a hill

2011-03-04T20:29:00.000-08:00

After returning from Tanzania last September with Small Steps for Compassion we were asked to help raise money for the well project. We were each asked to raise $2,ooo. I said sure we should be able to raise that, it's only $2,ooo each right? However to be honest I had no idea how that was going to happen. I wanted it to, I believe in the cause and the need for the well (after all it will be where my drinking water comes from once I move there) but I didn't think it would happen coming from me. I hoped it wouldn't effect my future for a job with them if I was the only one who didn't raise the money. I didn't want to simply ask people for money the way I had always done for missionary trips before. I wanted it to be something people did because they believed in the cause and they wanted to give.

I decided I would work on simply creating awareness, I would help get the word out. I wouldn't even really try to raise the money, after all I couldn't. So I started the facebook cause with the intention of simply offering a way for people to know about it, I figured knowledge is kinda like money and I could count that, right?

Then things started to happen. I ended up asking for donations for Christmas, and people gave! Family and friends gave to the cause. I gave to the cause on behalf of my family for Christmas. I was happy because I had done what little I could. In December I was contacted by my German friend Vanessa and she wanted to know if her youth group in Germany could do a benefit concert for the orphanage! So they dubbed over the video into German and planed a choir concert for February.

As of last weekend God, not me, raised $2,ooo that's including the facebook donations and the concert. I didn't think it could happen. In fact I was certain it wouldn't after all I didn't have that kind of money and how was I to get it?

Why did I doubt?

Why did I believe that God wouldn't work?

Why did I have such little faith?

"For all the animals of the forest are mine,

and I own the cattle on a thousand hills"

Psalm 50:10

God sold some cattle on the hill for me the other day. I don't deserve it but I'm glad He did.

Here goes.

2011-03-03T10:47:00.000-08:00

Open, Honest and Vulnerable.

Skiing since 2001.

2011-02-23T22:24:00.000-08:00

I went skiing today.

The last time I went was just about 10 years ago.

The snow is still cold, the mountains still big.

My Desire

2011-02-23T09:43:00.000-08:00

Mariposa Grove

"Take delight in the Lord,

and He will give you your heart's desires"

Psalms 37:4

Climbers Trail to Wawona Dome

"Whom have I in Heaven but You?

I desire You more than anything on earth."

Psalms 73:25

Mi Pepino.

2011-02-20T22:11:00.000-08:00

When I was 20 years old I moved to Santa Barbara, Honduras.

I lived at a home for children, Hogar de Niños.

That was the year of mi Pepino.

Nahum was his given name, but mi Pepino was his special name. I'm not even sure how I came to call him my cuccumber. I just did. He never seemed to mind either, he would call me silly names too but none of them stuck on me like pepino did for him.

I remember one day we were laying on the benches in the court yard between the buildings. We were not really talking, we were simply sharing the love language of quality time. Then the little guy pipes up and asks me, "Sonya, what are we doing?" I replied, "Nada". Then without missing a beat he says, "In that case we must be pirates." He was referring to the pirates who don't do anything from Veggie Tales! Ah, what a kid. So smart and quick.

If you asked him his favorite book of the bible: Nahum. He liked that it talked about fighting and warrior things.

Another time he was playing with the other little boys in my room and they were pretending that my monkey was flying because they had seen a video clip from another volunteer that had a monkey flying across my the screen. I remember him asking me if he could have my monkey. I told him no because it was my special monkey that I had gotten when I was younger and I took it everywhere with me but that he was welcome to come to my room anytime and play with it.

There was a time when he and some other boys spent the night camped out on our bedroom floor and he woke up with nightmares. He had been having scary dreams about snakes. After he woke up several times I had him climb in bed and lay next to me for awhile until he wasn't so scared. He was awake for such a long time and the dreams had been so real for him.

One night some short term volunteers had given out glow bracelets to the kids. The little boys promptly went to their rooms and proceeded to open the glow sticks and splatter the glow all over themselves, their walls, their beds and anything else near by. The room looked awesome, the kids looked crazy and the event was an epic moment in letting children be children for me. After all it was non toxic and wouldn't show up after the glow died.

In the spring before I left was Mother's Day. Since most of the children at the elementary school were from the home that didn't leave them many mothers. Most of the children were not true orphans but mi Pepino and his three sisters were. I remember him asking me if I could come down to the school to watch their little performance for the mothers. After they recited their poem he found me and gave me a card with my name on it and saying how he loved me. He wanted me to be there so he could show me he cared.

When the sad day came for me to leave, I put off packing until all the kids had gone to bed for the night. The longer I could pretend it wasn't happening the better it would be for me and my denial. I knew I would never be the same because of the love the children gave me, but I certainty would never be the same because of the love mi Pepino gave me.

I wanted Nahum to know how much I loved him and how much he changed me. I wasn't sure what to do for several days, in fact when I finally thought of what I needed to do I argued with myself about it. Finally on my last night I realized I already knew the best answer. I needed to give him something I loved, something I valued and he knew I valued. My monkey.

It was 4 am the morning I left Santa Barbara, Honduras and I quietly walked to the little boys room. I opened the door and went over to his bed, the bed that I had been to many times over the last year. That night the boys had slept over at one of the ladies house who was in charge of the home. His bed was empty as I placed my monkey on his pillow. I knew he would find it in the morning after I was gone and I prayed that he would know that I loved him and would think of him often. It was then that my tears fell, they fell as I turned and walked out that door to the waiting truck that would take me to the airport and back to America. I changed that year. I grew, and I loved.

The greatest thing we can do is love people, to love them without concern of it being returned.

*This blog was inspired by the fact that Nahum is now halfway through high school and he has a facebook account. When I was there we barley had internet and we used floppy disks. Apparently he is still growing up even if I'm not there to watch him grow. I had heard he still has the monkey. I wonder if it still means something to him after all this time? I wonder. . .

Hackers.

2011-02-20T21:33:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time I was roommates with Andrea Keele.

(Andrea is on the far left)

I was a member of Myspace before she was and so I would use her computer to log in and check out all the cool stuff Myspace had to offer. Since I never worried about her logging in to check her non existent myspace account I never really logged off. . . until the summer she got an account and the hacking commenced.

This is the blog she (along with her brother Donnie Keele) wrote with my name:

It seems this happens more to me than anyone else. I mean, have you ever met someone and its just like so natural. Its almost as if when you look into their eyes that time seems to slow down. And in that moment you seem to learn more about yourself than you ever thought possible. *sigh* I dont know. Maybe nobody understands...maybe nobody ever will. But these feelings, they are so strong. I cannot deny them. And so here I sit. I stare at a blank wall, but it is not the wall I see, but painting of life. So full of color and passion. So full of energy and happiness. So full of joy and spontenaity. And so I stare at this wonderful photograph upon my wall. I love photographs. And now I see things a little more clearly. Some things are just meant to be. Yes, now I know what it is I have to do...

This is the about me stuff she added:

I am me. I love thunderstorms, and feeling the wind in my hair. I love gazing at stars, and holding hands, chasing butterflies. You might find me flying a kite, blowing bubbles, and finger-painting daisies and waterfalls. The only thing I fear is fear itself. The only thing I hate is hate itself. If I could be an animal, I would be a cuddly puppy. If I were a vegetable, I would be a bright, red cherry tomato. When I grow up, I want to be an astronaut and save the world. There are no substitutes for La Sonya.

I've got to hand it to her at least she's a good writer.

Friend to the trail in the woods.

2011-02-17T00:08:00.000-08:00

As I walked outside the door I was greeted by darkness.

Unable to see the path in front of me I walked slowly and cautiously.

Knowing the darkness would not always be there

I gave it time and I gave it space, I wanted to see past the darkness.

As I walked outside the door I was met by a half moon.

Only slightly able to see the path in front of me I took bolder steps.

Knowing the path and seeing more of its turns and twists

I was becoming more familiar with the path, I wanted to call it friend.

As I walked outside the door I was welcomed by the snow and the moon.

My eyes had been opened to a clear trail, an open path.

Knowing and seeing past the darkness, and reveling in it's character

I had seen the difference, I had walked through the change and now I understood it's beauty.

I had become a friend to the trail in the woods.

Growing Up.

2011-02-15T22:10:00.000-08:00

I am growing up.

I've realized this recently as I bought my ticket home to Texas for my high school reunion.

I used to be afraid of getting older and not accomplishing the average goals for one my age. But not any more. I've embraced it and I am championing the world of living where God sends me. Well, maybe not championing it but at least boldly living it.

Tonight I was watching a show and as the intro names were coming on I saw one that looked familiar. Devon Sawa. Upon further investigation I realized who he was in the show. Hmmm, he does look familiar. Who was he?

He was none other than Junior from Little Giants.

Oh what a little girl crush I had on him!

And he's alive and still doing what he loves. He's growing up. I'm growing up too.

But think about it, this guy, this Devon Sawa, is my age (okay I just looked it up and he's older than me) But the point is he was a kid around the same time, or he played a kid, around the same time I was a kid and now he's an adult.

So see it is possible to grow up and be successful and live your dream. He was a child star, sure, but he's doing okay in life. He's in a TV show that's doing well. He has given me hope.

Take hope because if some child actor can grow up and still act than I can grow up too and still do what I love.

See I was once little and cute.

Now I'm growing up, just like the trees.

These are the days of our lives.

2011-02-13T10:17:00.000-08:00

I made hot chocolate mix the other day from scratch. I had to sift cocoa powder, when I was done I had chocolate boogers.

I ran down to the stop sign and back in a little over 3o min.

I am helping with summer camp prep and that makes me think it's summer time.

I baked muffins with Cheerios.

I baked muffins with Raisin Bran.

I baked cookies with Cheerios.

I baked cookies with Raisin Bran.

I bought a plane ticket home to Texas in March for my high school reunion. I can't wait to see all my old friends and their new additions to their families. To relive all our old high school jokes, to tell stories and look at pictures. It's going to be epic.

I've been learning a lot about waiting on God. It seems as though this process has been slow but that is how it sometimes feels when one is waiting.

I've learned to enjoy the slow days and embrace the quietness.

I went to the Worlds Agriculture Expo in Tulare, California and drove all sorts of cool stuff.

I learned to weld and plan on making something cool before camp starts.

I've enjoyed many outings in the forest by myself. It's given me time to think about my future, express myself to God and see many things that I wouldn't have seen if I had waited for someone to go with me.

Yesterday I built a fire down at Indian Camp and hung out by it for hours by myself. Well, I should say I was intentional about being with God during that time. After all the sermon was about quality time.

I told the children's story yesterday in church. I talked about Duplicat and the time he went missing for a few days. It tied in with how Duplicat showed love after being rescued by spending quality time with me as we climbed a mountain.

I've spent time with friends (I'm not always alone out here), watching movies, TV shows, hiking to the face of Wawona Dome, playing games, eating food, cooking food and walking and talking.

These days have been good. These days are going to get even better.

Plus Kimberly is coming to visit again soon.

(which means I can take another picture with her because

I think this is the only one I have where I

am not making a face or she is not making a face.)

My open heart.

2011-02-10T08:48:00.000-08:00

How shall I go in peace and without sorrow?

Nay, not without a wound in the spirit shall I leave this city.

Long were the days of pain I have spent within its walls, and long were the nights of aloneness; and who can depart from his pain and aloneness without regret?

Too many fragments of the spirit have I scattered in these streets, and too many are the children of my longing that walk naked among these hills, and I cannot withdraw from them without a burden and an ache.

It is not a garment I cast off this day but a skin that I tear with my own hands.

Nor is it a thought I leave behind me, but a heart made sweet with hunger and thirst.

Yet I cannot tarry longer. The sea calls all things unto her, calls me, and I must embark.

For to stay, though the hours burn in the night, it to freeze and crystallize and be bound in a mould.

Fain would I take with me all that is here. But how shall I?

A voice cannot carry the tongue and the lips that gave it wings. Alone must it seek either.

~Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

This is not okay.

2011-02-06T10:38:00.000-08:00

I am from Texas. I grew up just a short 20 minute drive from Dallas. I have friends who live in Dallas now. The things this video says are not okay. They should not be true, but they are.

Spread the word.

Let's stop modern day slavery in AMERICA.

Natalie Grant and Tenth Avenue North PSA for Traffick 911 from Nate Bernard on Vimeo.

risk the encounter.

2011-01-30T12:46:00.000-08:00

'noise insulates us from the silence that exposes us to encounters with self and God,

and to the voice of the Spirit that groans within us in ways we may not control.

to choose silence is to risk that encounter'

~marilyn mcentyre

The Valley.

2011-01-29T09:11:00.000-08:00

I've spent several weeks of days off by myself lately. At first I wasn't a bit happy about that. I like people, I like to talk, I like quality time-even if it's silent time, I'm afraid of thinking to much and people help me not to get lost in my thoughts. But I've come to realize that it's been good for me to spend time alone with God in my ponderings.

I've had a lot on my mind.

I have been learning to wait on God while I've been trudging around the beautiful park I live in. It's here that I've been able to wait. To "sit" in the waiting room. While there I've found enjoyment in taking photographs. These are some of them.

Baking.

2011-01-24T22:11:00.000-08:00

I love to bake. I love baking cookies, cakes, pastries, cupcakes, loafs. . . (well not so much a loaf) but I do love to bake.

It's fun to mix all the sugar, flour (whole and wheat) with butter, egg substitute and spices. I enjoy tasting the batter, the dough and the filling. I am not a big fan of rolling out dough or cutting it to the right shape but I enjoy filling it with goodies or pouring it into fun cake pans.

What makes the difference between cooking and baking is the part where I put the item into theoven.

Ahhh. It is here that I learn to rest. To wait. To clean up my dishes -- because I have the time. Usually there is plenty of time to clean up and sit and wait. It is in this waiting that I can relax. There is nothing more I can do to the dough, batter or filling. It is wait time. Just wait.

I think I like it because I struggle with the waiting part in my personal life. I have a hard time putting everything I have been working on with God in my life into His hands. All my education, my heart, my jobs, my passion, my wants for a future, my friendships and my hopes are all mixed up in the bowl, poured into the cake pan and given to God to bake and now I sit and wait. It's wait time. Just wait.

Andrew Murray, in his book, Waiting on God, has so many wonderful things to say that encourage me to wait.

Let the heart wait at times in perfect silence and quiet; in its hidden depths God will work. Be sure of this, and just wait on Him. Give your whole heart, with its secret workings, into God's hands continually. 46

This is the blessedness of waiting upon God, that it takes our eyes and thoughts away from ourselves. 47

Nothing was ever so sure as that waiting on God will bring us untold and unexpected blessing. 40

Resting in Him is nothing but being silent unto Him, still before Him. Having our thoughts and wishes, our fears and hopes, hushed into calm and quite in that great peace of God which passes all understanding. 52

So bake away God, I will be here waiting to know what to do next.

Burn us up.

2011-01-21T12:31:00.000-08:00

Calmly facing the furnace, they said, "O Nebuchadnezzar, we are not careful to answer thee in this matter. If it be so [if this is your decision], our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and He will deliver us out of thine hand, O king." Their faith strengthened as they declared that God would be glorified by delivering them, and with triumphant assurance born of implicit trust in God, they added, "But if not, be it known unto thee, O king, that we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up."

Prophets and Kings pg 508

Take courage friends and let's be bold for God!

*this video is a bit elementary and corny, yet somehow endearing.

Long fingers of light over Half-Dome.

2011-01-19T17:52:00.000-08:00

Sunrise over Half-Dome, mid July 2009

"Day breaks in Yosemite with a chorus of song-- the robins are in full voice. The trees sleep on for the winds are not yet awake, and no whisper of gossip is rumored through the sleeping foliage. The sun comes up behind Half-Dome, and long fingers of light feel their way into the valley. It is a smooth warm morning in late June, and as the trees sleep on, the heavens become alive with great puffy clouds, which commence to wander aimlessly across the blue sky."

~Enid Michael 1941

Attitude-Awareness-Authenticity

2011-01-18T18:11:00.000-08:00

I've been reminded a lot lately to enjoy the simple things in life, to enjoy the moment right now for what it is and to be real. This talk inspires me more.

3 people from the past.

2011-01-17T20:13:00.000-08:00

If three people from your past came on a TV show to surprise you, who would they be and what would you say?

1. The first boyfriend.

Because of him I have grown. I am where I am because of him

I wish you could see me now

I wish I could show you how

I'm not who I was

I learned how to love the outdoors,

I met people who have become an active part of my life

I used to be mad at you

A little on the hurt side too

It's because of you that I know the deep pain of rejection,

I have experienced deep loss,

But I can relate to others on a deeper level now.

But I'm not who I was

I found my way around

To forgiving you

Some time ago

But I never got to tell you so

I was thinking maybe I

I should let you know

I am not the same

But I never did forget your name

Well the thing I find most amazing

In amazing grace

Is the chance to give it out

Maybe that's what love is all about

I wish you could see me now

I wish I could show you how

I'm not who I was*

2. Suzie

She was an older friend from my first real job, outside of school, as a teenager. We worked together at the same retirement home that my grandparents worked at 5 years earlier, we had known each other then but not very well. We worked in the kitchen together and she always encouraged me in my job and listened to my stories of adventure from school. Her opinion of my work ethic was important to me.

When on the show I would ask her, “Am I okay? Did I do alright so far?” Somehow her opinion of me always mattered. Maybe because she knew my grandparents and thought highly of them. Maybe because she was a hard worker and I wanted to work hard too. Maybe because I also wonder if she ever saw Jesus in me.

3. 9 year old Sonya

For a child she had a lot going on in her mind. She wanted to be liked by people, she didn’t understand why the boys liked Michael Anne and not her, she wanted people to be her friend and she wanted to work at camp (okay that wasn’t an every day thought but going to camp and re-telling camp stories was an every day event). She didn’t brush her hair very often because it hurt too much; she played in the dirt at recess and got in trouble for it. She was a carefree spirit and enjoyed her free style imagination and played in it often with little fear of the future.

I don’t know if I would actually tell 9 year old Sonya anything. I think I would rather ask her questions. I would ask her what she wants to do when she grows up, I would play in the dirt with her, I would listen to her fears of being left out and I would enjoy her lack of inhibitions and I would enjoy her large imagination.

These are the three people I would meet, these are the things I would say or do with them.

What about you?

Who would you meet?

What would you say?

*I'm not who I was, by Brandon Heath