Nights

I don't know how to explain how I feel. Every evening after sun down and
after we have all eaten I go and sit with the kids and mom on the mat and we
just . . . this is how I don't know how to explain, but it is just the most
amazing feeling in the world. We just sit/lay together and exist. I know is
sounds funny but that's what we do. Sometimes I just lay there and look up
at all the millions of stars and smile, I can't believe I get to be here
with these amazing people. Usually every night Comga, whom I have nicknamed
Gungadin :o) is usually on one side and Twia is on the other side of me.
Sometimes we squish each other, other times we talk. There are times when we
just lay there and they play with my 'long' hair. Never anything overly
spectacular, just always overly amazing. I thought about this last night and
how much I love that time we share. I wondered how I was going to explain it
to you and I couldn't think of how to do it. I love being able to feel so
simple in life, to be able to see so much of God's handy work and be able to
see the love of a family and to see how they have welcomed me into their
family. I don't know. Maybe it's just one of those things you can never
really explain you just have to experience it for yourselves.

Just know that every night I feel God. I see God and I hang out
with God at my hut with my famil.

But, when I am at my hut with my family I feel so at peace. I fear
nothing and I know that whatever is troubling me will be answered and I can
do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I sit and look out over the
field at lunch and smile because I am with God here. I think it's because I
have stripped my life down to the most basic things and it is in this way I
can see Christ and feel Him. There are no distractions, it's just me and
Him. I get to play with kids, eat good food, smile, shower outside, pee in
the rain so my butt gets wet and I love it all. I don't have to worry about
homework, paperwork at work, traffic, fashion, movies that our out,
television shows--ANYTHING!
I'm often reminded of the time we went camping our sophomore year, and
it rained. It's been raining the last few days when I have gotten up and so
when I'm ready to leave my hut I just go to the kitchen hut and sit with the
kids and mom while the food is getting ready. The rain is misting outside
and I'm all warm and comphy in the 'tent' or today we were eating outside
because the rain wasn't too bad but it was still sprinkling. It's just
like that time because we are eating outside and we are happy because we are
on an adventure. The 'stove' is warm and the air is fresh. Who knows. Wish you
could open a book and see me here and understand what I am trying to say.