Tuesday, November 10, 2009

My waking dreams




I'm trying to sleep but I can’t seem to find it. My mind just keeps running instead. Perhaps I’ve just got to much on my mind. I’ve been thinking lots about my future and what I’ll be doing in five years.

I’ve got dreams. My waking dreams entail many things. I’m not trying to be picky with God, I’ll go where ever He sends me but I just have things I would like in my life.

I would like a home or a flat. A place to call my own. A place where friends can come over and veg on my couch, or students can come and feel as if they were at home. A place that people can come to and feel safe and welcome.

I would like a job that challenges me. Something that keeps me thinking on new ways to do something. I want a job that keeps me busy and active. No desk for me please. I want to be challenged to get people motivated, inspired, empowered and to find new ways to show them that they are not alone.

I want a job that offers me freedom to think, plan, create and explore. I want to try new ideas that are a bit outside the box and most people wouldn’t think of.

I want to teach people, not in the conventional way but in an outside the box way. I want to teach people to try new things, to trust themselves and others. I want to teach people to love more and better. I want to teach outside the normal classroom. I want to teach people in an active way they won’t forget.

I want to talk to people. I want to motivate them from the front of the meeting hall. I want to talk to new people, make new friends and I want to talk so that people listen and are inspired to not stay the same but to change for good.

I want dishes and pots, not necessarily all my personal ones, but I want to cook and serve people food. I want to be able to make cookies, breads, and pies. I want to cook meals for friends. I want to feed students who haven’t seen a home cooked meal in weeks or longer. I want to feed people so that when they leave my house they are full and content.

I want money to travel. I want to be able to visit my best friends in their homes. I want to explore the world. I want to be able to travel and do short term or long term mission trips. I want to see the world and it’s people.

I want to live long term in a foreign country, long enough to know it’s language as well as my own. I want to live there so the people become my people and my children their children. I want to live in a mission field and be creative with my surroundings and lack of utilities.

I want to love someone and be loved. I want to know that there is someone who will love me for all that I am and have to offer. I want to love someone who challenges me to be a better person. I want to love someone who will teach me new things. I want to love someone longer than I am alive on this earth. I want to be loved in return.

I want to know that I have done my best with what God has given me and that I haven’t missed an opportunity to love others. I want to know that every day counted for something bigger than myself.

These are my waking dreams.

6 comments:

Andrea said...

Jehovah Jireh -- The Lord will provide.

kessia reyne said...

"elegantly written" indeed.

Anthony said...

I resonate. Sonya you are in my prayers. My dreams also keep me awake.

Anonymous said...

Aw, que lindo. :) That's good that you know what you want and at the same time are willing to do whatever God says... I wanna come visit you wherever you end up at. :) - Megan (just too lazy to log in haha)

Anonymous said...

Sonya!
this was beautiful to read... and I even dare to say that these are real human longings, longings which God has put in us, to love and to be loved. Our purpose in life!
Keep on dreaming and acting on it, and you will get there!
Anja (yes, the one who was with you for a short time at ebs)

Anonymous said...

This was a joy to read. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, like this.
Your dreams match you. They are terrific like you. That picture grabbed my attention and sucked me in. Someday I'm coming back to catch up on your blogs. I just needed your address. Keep up the good work...Love ya, Sandy