Sunday, November 6, 2016

Thoughts on not being a Teacher/Principal

I go to bed without running through a million scenarios in my head about school board meetings, teachers meetings, parents, students, lesson plans or any other million things.

I have HEAPS of free time on Sunday and by HEAPS I mean all day. I don't have to go to the school, write lesson plans, grade papers or brainstorm ways to recruit more students. 

I go into work at 8:15 am everyday.

I leave work at 5 pm everyday.

I am not having to "be on" all the time. 

I don't have to wear a million different hats.

I don't feel terribly inadequate, overwhelmed, stuck or like a fake. 

I still get to teach, brainstorm ways to teach concepts and ideas to students.

I bicycle to and from work most days (motor bike on days when I go to the village).

I don't have to shmooze or woo people to donate, volunteer, like me, like the school, or even care about anything when I am at church.

But mainly I have so much free time on Sunday. Time to explore who I am and the world around me or to simply sit and read or watch a million episodes of a new favorite tv show. 

I'm no longer stressed about life and work. It's a great feeling. 

Tuesday, November 1, 2016

Summon the Courage.

I found myself looking for all my extra courage today.

I've graduated from the little moped bike to the one Kerry has been using. It's a manual bike. It's roughly the same size as the black moped bike, only it rides much different. I have to pay attention to the gears and shift up and down with my left foot. I have to break with my right food as well as my right hand all the while remembering the throttle in the same hand. I have to look around for drivers, pot holes and landmarks to know where to turn.

The thing is, it's hard. I enjoy being pushed to grow and learn. I often volunteer for new things. I like learning languages, leading groups of people and being the first to try something. This however is pushing me a lot. I want to stay in my comfortable zone of push bike. It's hard going out to the village on my own. I have a great coach here in Phnom Penh but he can't do it for me, he can't ride me out there. I am having to summon up all my courage and ride out there on my own because I have to.

I'm working on keeping my chin up and sights on the future but today I struggled. Today I went out to Taskor for the first time on the bigger bike and I wanted to be back where it was easy. I didn't want to learn something new. I wanted my comfort zone.

Nothing much more to say than that. An honest confession that I am not always brave, I am not always optimistic and sometimes I'd rather just not.