Friday, June 30, 2017

This is Life.

Today is June 30, 2017.
Today was my last day of work one year ago as a Teacher/Principal in Oakhurst, California. It was the end of my last pay period and I haven’t had one since.

I have almost been here one year. ONE YEAR. I have never lived abroad for this long in my life. I always left around August and came back around May/June. Not this time.

A couple weeks back was a bit rough. I found myself missing my family. My trip back to the states left me wanting more. More memories, more laughter and more family adventures. It was a strange feeling, homesickness.

Even more homesickness came the following day. I went to Joma for coffee, per usual, all the usual suspects were there; Jay, Tessa, Maddi and Renee (no Brett as he was working from Australia) and ordered my coffee. The strangest thing happened as I sat down in my seat, I focused in on the music (which could be anything and everything--even if it isn’t the Christmas season) and heard a song that triggered all my senses. Instantly I was back in Honduras listening to a mixed CD on repeat dreaming of all my friends back at Southern (the Uni I went to in TN), imagining all sorts of scenarios for what the maker of the CD mix was trying to tell me. I was no longer a 34 year old teacher in Cambodia but I was a 20 year old young girl in Honduras who thought she would save the world. I had been whisked away to memories of young puppy love, dreams of adventure and the great unknown of university life.

The music just washed over me. My voice caught in my throat as I tried to say that I loved this song and that I might cry and as the end of my sentence came out so did the tears, I was crying. Through a bit of embarrassment I tried explaining that I was okay, even as I was beginning to look a bit like a crazy person. I laughed as I wiped away the tears and explained the best I could what was happening. I was explaining how the song was connected to my time in Honduras, the first place I lived outside of the country and to the time in my life when I didn't have a clue as to what would happen next. In reality where I was then is where they are now. They are shaping those memories that will trigger them to cry in a public place in 14 years. They'll get it then. They'll get that homesickness for family, home and familiarity but also homesickness for a time when responsibility was less, getting a pay check isn't a big deal and puppy love the norm.

It was a strange morning to be sure.
All in all, I’m okay. I, shockingly enough, get homesick sometimes.

1 comment:

Christoffer said...

Hey congratulations on that full year of Cambodia commitment. It's good to have memories that make you nostalgic, I think. Your blog is ten years old, too. I imagine there are quite a few little tear-jerk recollections collected here as well. Keep it up.