Death

I saw a baby goat lying dead today on the back path to the hospital. It was awful. It just lied there with flies on it while its mom was tied up near by. With the other baby near by alive and well. Then earlier while I was hanging out playing checkers in the peds ward with the 10 and 12 year old boys, a tiny baby was struggling to breath. I couldn’t help but keep looking over at the family bathing him in water to cool his temp down. Then some nurses came to give him a shot it looked like and then they all got up and carried the baby out of the room, he looked like he was still alive but I wasn’t certain. It was hard to focus on my game of checkers. Eventually they all came back in although the baby didn’t look any better. Who knows if the baby’s okay. People die all the time in hospitals. Why should this one be any different? I just don’t want to become desensitized to it. I don’t want to accept it as a norm and stop looking at each person as someone with a family and friends, someone who is loved and cared for whether old or young. I don’t know how hospital workers do it. Maybe my social work teachers were right all those semesters ago—I do get to involved in clients lives. It’s just my nature. God, show me the balance. Take their pain, take my fears.