Sickness

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March 22

Hello my name is Sonya and I must be PMSy because I am grouchy. I don’t want to help anymore. I don’t want to be called at random times to work in the OR I just want to leave. Since Thursday I’ve worked a whole lot in the OR. I enjoy being exhausted but I don’t enjoy not getting to do my plans. I definitely couldn’t do this if the girls weren’t here. Here’s a confession. I want to be sick because then I wouldn’t have to work. I could be here and not worry about anything. It’s bad I know.

I might have malaria, but who wouldn’t be exhausted with all this working, my stomach only hurts a small little bit, nothing to out of the ordinary. But I’ve felt bad before and didn’t have it. Plus part of me wants to be really sick. Help me Father. I am sorry I just want to run away. I just want to be miserable, why? I’m not real sure.

26 March

It might not have been that long since I last wrote but it feels like ages. Both Mowgli and Petit Chen have been sick. Mowgli first then Petit Chen, now Mowgli is on the mend and it looks like Petit Chen is going to die. I just got home from a 10hr OR day and Petit Chen is breathing bad and not moving, his eyes are closed and he is stiff. I don’t think it’ll be long now. . .

Thank God Mowgli is doing better but I think I was just beginning to like the little guy. He’s like a little brother who bothers you and just wants to play all the time but you would never wish something bad to happen.

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