what to do.

I miss Bere. As much as I wanted to go . . . I miss the lifestyle so much. I feel like I'm cheating by having so much. I miss baithing in my dumb bowl and squating to go potty. I miss my famil. I miss the drama of surgeries and life. I miss mowgly and walking home and wistling for him to come. I miss the open air. I miss Hans, Esther and oh I miss Liz. I miss talking to Wendy and cooking at her house. I miss not really caring what I wear. I miss the comfort of scrubs! I miss my TB patients even if I didn't always feel needed, I miss them so much. I don't want to move on and foreget yet, I want to hold on to the knowledge. But what do I do with it? How can I use it? Where will I take it? Trust and wait on God. Sigh. I did learn that didn't I? Yes, I'll wait.

The funny things I do. I have found myself tonight sitting by my open back door with all my inside lights off reading by the sunlight as it fades into the sunset. I find myself not useing my ac at all but instead leaving my window open and my fan on when needed. I find myself not bothering to turn lights on but instead just doing things in the semi dark. I usually care less what I eat and I have no qualms about walking somewhere instead of driving to the other side of campus. Lets not even get started on my bed! It's huge and at first I just took up a small part of it. It has been several weeks before I could come to fully apreciate the beauty of a queen sized bed.