Facing my past

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It seems to me that working at a high school can be dangerous. Simply because it brings the faults, fears and heart aches of all that I went through in my youth to my mind. As I was on supervision the other day I was watching a couple and how they interacted together. It was a bit hard because I saw me in their place and the way I interacted when I was there. Only it hurt me to watch because I have a good idea how it will end and I know how to not let it happen. I know now what will prevent the deep pain of having to back track and try to be friends when that was passed by to fast. I know how it will feel to wish things. . .

I also have seen myself several years ago when I wasn't quite sure who I was yet and I was searching, laughing at anything trying so hard to fit it. I remember those days so easily while I am here. I remember when I didn't know what to say or do and what ever I did do seemed to come out awkward and pathetic. . .

I'm reminded of a verse I found last year.

Remember, O Lord, your unfailing love and compassion,
which you have shown from long ages past.
Forgive the rebellious sins of my youth;
look instead through the eyes of your unfailing love,
for you are merciful, O Lord.

Psalms 25:6,7

Praise God, that He is in the job of helping us to grow and won't let us just stay where we are. Praise God that I was sent here to not relive my past growing pains but to help the students grow into beautiful sons and daughters of the Living God. It is hard, yes, to relive the past pain, but it's beautiful when I realize how far God has brought me from the 'rebellious sins of my youth'.

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