The Days Gone By

The evenings roll in like a jelly roll on a conveyor belt. They are longed for but I'm never quite ready for them.

By the time the student's voices have died off and the swings stop moving my extovertedness can't handle any more. I have a hard time mustering up enough energy for the board meetings I have two out of the four Monday's a month. I have found myself wandering around Railey's grocery store just being quite but notcompletely  alone. I guess it's where an extrovert can go to recharge (they should market that).

This last weekend I didn't even stay for potluck. I had to save my people energy for that evening's family fiesta night sponsored by the school. 

While I overall enjoy my job and have found myself loving these kids, my job is exahusting and stressful. I've found myself crying to God on more than one occasion. I mean, how do I know how to handle a disipline issue, determine a grade level, dismantle bullies, teach a person who has only been alive for five years and doesn't always understand the concept of not talking, how do I love when I want to scream and what about the paperwork that I have no idea how to handle. These things are what press down on my sholders, on my thoughts and on my heart more offten than not. 

Even if I wanted to I don't think I would have any idea how to have meaningful relationships and do my job. I'm grateful for the understanding friends I do have. Because there are days when I hit silence on my phone, I don't read a blog, I forget to send a birthday package and I still expect a listening ear when I need one. I don't even see my own house mate but a brief time in the evenings and in passing on the weekends. 

The one thing I do seem to have time for, even though these days I do it begrudgingly, is running. I'm eatting miles for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I even snack on kilometers on the weekends. I never in a million years thought I'd be eating this many miles, yet isn't that God's specialty, taking me places I've never thought I'd go? Doing things I never thought I'd do? So, I eat those miles and I push onward to new distances far from the relm of my own ideas. I hear myself saying the most rediculous things like: "I'm just running 10 mles tomorrow". I mean seriously who says that? 

But don't really pitty me, I've still got a few adventures up my sleve.