Goodbye

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These last few goodbyes have been a bit harder than in the past. I've never liked saying goodbye, I'm not sure if anyone actually does. I have been saying goodbye to my friends and family in Texas since I left for Camp Kulaqua 15 years ago the day after high school graduation.

This time maybe it's been so hard because I've been putting down roots in Oakhurst, Ca and my parents are getting older. Or maybe it's because I've lived abroad before and I'm not as naïve as I was when I moved to Honduras at 20 or perhaps because this go round I know I'm not going for just a year but for a long haul. I know I'll be back to Texas next summer, which is typically what I've been doing the last 14 years. Maybe this is harder than the past because when I pulled away from my mom's house yesterday I sounded so much like an adult, saying "See you next summer", the same thing they always said to their parents and I drove around the block, just like they always did with their parents when we left every summer. Maybe my tears were more tears of growing up and leaving my childhood behind as I transition into a job I have been dreaming of since I was a kid. Whatever the true cause of this I know it's because I love my family and we all just want what is best for each other. We aren't created to say goodbye and I long for the day when I wont have to anymore.

Today after my most recent goodbyes as I drove away from Granbury this song came on:

 

This was exactly what my heart needed to hear and to say.

This isn't goodbye, this is I love you and I'll see you when I come back home (both to Texas and California).

This Is Not GoodbyeBy Sidewalk ProphetsI can see it in your eyes that you are restlessThe time has come for you to leaveIt’s so hard to let you go but in this life I knowYou have to be who you were made to beAs you step out on the road I’ll say a prayerSo that in my heart you always will be thereThis is not goodbyeI know we’ll meet againSo let your life begin‘Cause this is not goodbyeIt’s just “I love you” to take with youUntil you’re home againThe stirring in your soul has left you wonderingShould you stay or turn aroundWell, just remember that your dreams they are a promiseThat you were made to change the worldSo don’t let fear stop you now ‘causeThis is not goodbyeI know we’ll meet againSo let your life begin‘Cause this is not goodbyeIt’s just “I love you” to take with youUntil you’re home againI know the brightest star aboveWas created by the One who lovedMore than we’ll ever knowTo guide you when you’re lostWhat started as a still, small voiceIs raging now and your only choiceIs to follow who you areSo follow who you are ‘causeThis is not goodbyeI know we’ll meet againOhThis is not goodbyeI know we’ll meet againSo let your life begin‘Cause this is not goodbyeIt’s just “I love you” to take with youUntil you’re home again



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Comments

Andrea said…
I love that song. What a gift from God to have that come on just as you were leaving home. That's amazing. Thanks for sharing your goodbye-journey. It's never easy. I'm glad too that one day we can say goodbye to goodbyes.
July 16, 2016 at 3:39 PM
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