In it to win it.

Today I have been given the number 1662.

It is my official race number.

I have paid my dues to race.

I am in it to win it!

Earth

Earth was bold and beautiful.

Every planet, star, and moon circled around her.

She was the center of the universe.

The sun gave her warmth as it marveled at her charm and depth.

All planets couldn't stop looking and watching, even if they had wanted to.

For she was the center of the universe, she captivated them all.

Capturing the attention of Jupiter, Saturn and Mars was how Earth lived.

She told stories of her people, of her great creation.

Always watching everything around her.

Because she was the center of the universe, always looking at herself.

One early moon rotation her sphere stopped.

Everything came to a dizzying halt.

All did not focus on her or circle around her?

Earth was not indeed the center of the universe?

Earths breath slowed, her thoughts churned.

She had been thinking all wrong.

Even now her thinking was focused wrong, it was on herself.

She looked around at the other planets, moons and stars.

She was in the circle too, rotating around the Sun.

The other planets needed the companionship that Earth could offer.

When was the last time Earth took a moment to check on Pluto?

If only she would remember to offer true friendship.

The Sun was the true center, whom they all looked upon

It was He who she needed to have her eyes on.

She could offer what warmth He gave her to the others.

She could give back what she had taken; love, compassion, companionship and her heart.

Earth's world had changed, her perception had grown.

The Sun forgave her.

The stars took pity.

As for the planets, well, Earth hoped the planets could teach her.

Her heart.

Her heart hungered for more.

All this time she had been looking in the wrong place. She had been looking toward man to see where she fit in, to know if she was valued. She had stopped looking at the truth.

Her heart thirsted for more.

Where could she go to fill her heart? To quench her thirst? She found herself in the middle of a desert, a wasteland and she wanted out. She wanted the peace she knew was hers to own, the love that was meant for her alone.

The cry had gone out.

This time her eyes were clear, her ears ready. She saw His love for her in the everyday, the special gifts and the simple beauty. She heard His words to her in his letters, in His songs and from His messengers.

The connection was made.

He told her: “I have loved you with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself.* I have called you by name, you are mine. You are precious to me. You are honored, I love you.+”

*Jeremiah 31:3; +Isaiah 43:1,4

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night ...

Last year when I lived in Skotselv, Norway I would often refer to my world as a snow globe, the kind you buy in the fancy souvenir shop. The fluffy cold snow floating gently down to the ground was a sight to behold. Walking a mile down the hill at temperatures below zero was not so terrible because I lived in a real snow globe.

Today I live in a slushy machine, the kind you see in a 7-11. The snow is falling almost as fast as the snow is melting on the road. The flakes are big and fatty. When you go anywhere you have to watch out for the swirls and dips of slushy. Going for my long run today was like jogging in the middle of the mix cycle of the slushy machine.

My feet were soaked, my hoodie drenched and my nose runny. But I ran, I was skeptical at first but after the initial shock of jogging in rain/snow/water I was good. Brittany and I plugged along at first at quite a fast pace as if somehow we were trying to outrun the falling snow. At mile 3 I slowed to a slush and she kept on plugging away. The run overall was good, I didn’t do the full 5 miles because my feet were to wet to keep going and Brittany couldn’t even feel her toes. I ran more than I have before but the biggest goal of today was to go. To go run in the snow/rain/water. That was dedication. Phew, I’m glad it’s done with. I’m glad I had to do it, I’m really glad Brittany came and got me to run with her. I’m really glad that you can’t live in a slushy machine forever.

On track.

Since telling the world about my plan to run the half marathon with Brittany I have been motivated to run. Which is a good thing. However when the clock says 6:15 am I am not as motivated and very thankful for Brittany, who is eager and her energy and drive to run.

It's funny because I want to run this. I want to accomplish this. Yet, it is easier for me to joke about how I hate it, be grouchy about running and talk about the negatives about the whole thing. Each time it comes up I fall back on fear and talk about how hard it will be. Why? What am I afraid of? Failure? I shouldn't be because it's only 13.1 miles and I can do it. That's why I'm training. I know that I can make it in under 4 hours, that I can run over half of the miles. Sure, looking at the map is overwhelming, looking at the clock in the am is daunting and pushing up all the hills is really hard. But I can do it. I can. I know I can.

The second morning of running it was Brittany, myself and a friend visiting from MI, Jessie. It was nice to have the third person who is a good runner because her and Brittany could talk and I listened, which distracted me for the first whole mile. The whole run was easier than the first day. I jogged past the 2 mile mark/stop sign. My lungs hurt really bad on the big hill going up so I had to slow down to a fast walk. The positive about training in the mountains, so they say, is that when I get down to Fresno my lungs will be bigger/better.

This morning was much harder than the previous two. It might be because it's Friday and Kimberly and Jessie are here visiting so we talked LOTS and used up energy on Thursday. The 1st mile was long, the second mile even longer. My lungs hurt. I didn't keep jogging at the stop sign, I had to slow a bit to breath. I did jog more later on the way back.

This is hard.

I can do it though.

The journey, as most are, will be worth it. Friendships are being made, lungs expanded, hope increased and endurance pushed.

The drive.

I am a bit afraid to type this tonight. Simply because if I do it will be recorded in the world wide web. Forever someone will be able to pull it up and judge me. They will be able to take what I said and compare it to what I did. That's scary. That's permanent. That's real. I think however I need to say this, I need to type it out. I'm a kind of person who needs to be held accountable, I need encouragement, I need support and I need to do this.

Tentatively I am planning. . . ah this is hard. . . Iamplanningonrunningahalfmarathon.

I am planning on running a half marathon.

There I said it, I typed it for the whole world to read and judge.

To the world I say: Judge away.

To my friends I say: Help!

How it happened:

Brittany came early to camp to help in the office and we were talking about going running together and after talking to another old camp staffer who is running a half marathon the first of May, Brittany and I talked about how it would be cool if we could run a race, we joked about making our own Wawona race. Then later that evening she found a half marathon in Fresno the end of May. Soooo, it's now or never.

I've got a great running partner.

I've got the time. (hopefully, outdoor school might be my downfall. Which is why I still say tentatively.)

I've got the drive (sorta, Brittany has to help me along a bit)

Tonight was the first time I jogged 2 miles. Jogged, not wogged. I jogged 2 miles without stopping! Wow, perhaps I can go 13.1 miles by the end of May. . . if you do anything with that statement please let it be an encouragement to me. I need all the help and tips I can get.

Sooooooooooo,

Here goes!

Macaw

A few months ago I asked my friend Kessia what kind of animal she would be if she were an animal. It got me thinking and I have come to a conclusion.

I would be a macaw and here's why.

I would still get to wear bright colours.

I would still be sociable.

Because I could hang out on the shoulder of a pirate.

They can speak French and are really smart.

Who am I?

I took that myers briggs quiz tonight for fun. However it only lead to confuse me. It said I was a ESFJ.

When I took the quiz earlier this year the quiz had said I was a ENFP.

The time before that it said I was a ENFJ.

I just don't know who I am anymore!

Then I took the number quiz to see if it was any nicer.

It said I was a type 7.

What are you?

Hold on.

"Let us hold tightly to the hope we say we have, for

God can be trusted to keep His promise."

Hebrews 10:23

Cattle on a hill

After returning from Tanzania last September with Small Steps for Compassion we were asked to help raise money for the well project. We were each asked to raise $2,ooo. I said sure we should be able to raise that, it's only $2,ooo each right? However to be honest I had no idea how that was going to happen. I wanted it to, I believe in the cause and the need for the well (after all it will be where my drinking water comes from once I move there) but I didn't think it would happen coming from me. I hoped it wouldn't effect my future for a job with them if I was the only one who didn't raise the money. I didn't want to simply ask people for money the way I had always done for missionary trips before. I wanted it to be something people did because they believed in the cause and they wanted to give.

I decided I would work on simply creating awareness, I would help get the word out. I wouldn't even really try to raise the money, after all I couldn't. So I started the facebook cause with the intention of simply offering a way for people to know about it, I figured knowledge is kinda like money and I could count that, right?

Then things started to happen. I ended up asking for donations for Christmas, and people gave! Family and friends gave to the cause. I gave to the cause on behalf of my family for Christmas. I was happy because I had done what little I could. In December I was contacted by my German friend Vanessa and she wanted to know if her youth group in Germany could do a benefit concert for the orphanage! So they dubbed over the video into German and planed a choir concert for February.

As of last weekend God, not me, raised $2,ooo that's including the facebook donations and the concert. I didn't think it could happen. In fact I was certain it wouldn't after all I didn't have that kind of money and how was I to get it?

Why did I doubt?

Why did I believe that God wouldn't work?

Why did I have such little faith?

"For all the animals of the forest are mine,

and I own the cattle on a thousand hills"

Psalm 50:10

God sold some cattle on the hill for me the other day. I don't deserve it but I'm glad He did.

Here goes.

Open, Honest and Vulnerable.